Beautiful

I asked him once
If I was beautiful
If he thought I was beautiful

He scolded me for asking
I shouldn’t fish for compliments
Wait for him to give them

He never gave them
Never told me I was beautiful
Or pretty
Or simply just cute

I've never felt beautiful

Never been told I am

Not even by my mother

There've been times I felt cute

Not pretty

Just cute

Sometimes, when my hair is just so

And I somehow feel good

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder,

Right?

Can you ever see beauty in yourself

if no one has ever told you

You are beautiful

Even just once

Sadness

Sometimes it’s too much
Overwhelming
This overbearing sadness
 
Will it remain forever?
Deep inside
Unmovable
 
Longing, deep longing
Clawing its way through me
The sadness suffocating
 
Am I broken?
Or just lost?
Was I ever whole?
Or simply good at pretending?
 
Confidence shaken
Walls up
Trust broken
Overcome with fear
 
Is this how it is?
How I’m meant to be?
Pretending to be OK
Always alone
Always unloved
 
Sometimes it’s too much
This overbearing sadness

Overwhelming

Don't Look Back

Didn’t learn the lesson
Kept going back
Tears hidden behind a smiling face
Pain and shame buried deep down
Be strong
Be strong, she whispered to herself
You’re free
Don’t look back

Alone

The tears roll down her cheek
Silent
She cries herself to sleep
Alone
Always alone

He couldn’t even look at her
He wouldn’t even kiss her
Just a look of disgust as her lips approached his
He moved away

Pushed her away

She couldn’t cry in front of him
It would only make it worse
It would only make him mad
 
He was just inside her
But he couldn’t even look at her
He had come inside her
But now he didn’t want to touch her
 
He left her without a word
Without a touch nor kiss
He was angry
But he still fucked her
Only to reject her
 
The tears roll down her cheek
She cries herself to sleep
Alone
Always alone

Dazzle

Dazzle me he said
Blow my mind
Open my eyes
Let me see inside
Show me who you are

Dazzle me she said
Take my hand
Guide me through
Ease my pain
Make me feel whole again

Show me the light
Heal my wounds
Make me warm
Bring me back to life

Let me go

His kiss, his touch
seared in my mind
the way he looked at me; gently held me
the way he laced his fingers in my hair; holding it up, away from my face
The feel of his hands
on my shoulders

caressing my arms, my chest, my back
And when he was inside me
there was the sweetest of pains
stretching to take him in, completely in
When he was gone
there was nothing I could do to stop the tears
our last kiss burned on my lips
Let me go
physically
emotionally
let me go
his last words to me
One night is all we had
one night of love and pain
if I could lose myself I would
as there's no greater pain than that of a
heart breaking