Christmas Day 2008
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Thursday, December 4, 2008
New camera
My new Sony DSC-H10 arrived at work on Tuesday, but I was off until today.
I finally just sucked it up and bought it. I was unhappy with the Canon Powershot A590 I bought a couple of months ago. :(
Luckily, I found it on sale for less on Amazon.com than anywhere else. I love Amazon! I've been ordering so much from them lately. Even the 4GB memory card for the camera was a heck-of-a-lot less than anywhere else. (Yup! 4GB!)
(Photos of my new camera taken by my Canon Powershot A590.)
I finally just sucked it up and bought it. I was unhappy with the Canon Powershot A590 I bought a couple of months ago. :(
Luckily, I found it on sale for less on Amazon.com than anywhere else. I love Amazon! I've been ordering so much from them lately. Even the 4GB memory card for the camera was a heck-of-a-lot less than anywhere else. (Yup! 4GB!)
(Photos of my new camera taken by my Canon Powershot A590.)
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
NKOTB concert clip
Call me crazy, but I think you can totally hear me in this video. I think the chick was behind me.
When the audience is singing Happy Birthday to Jonathan, I totally started saying Jonathan instead of just Jon, and I think that's me you hear. And then sometimes, there's this big old head in the corner of the video - it could totally be me.
It might not be, but hey, who's going to know for sure, right?
When the audience is singing Happy Birthday to Jonathan, I totally started saying Jonathan instead of just Jon, and I think that's me you hear. And then sometimes, there's this big old head in the corner of the video - it could totally be me.
It might not be, but hey, who's going to know for sure, right?
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Happy Thanksgiving?
Family gatherings would not be family gatherings without drama; and my family is no exception. We were really hoping there would be no drama this year, but it was inevitable. Last year, my aunt and uncle Cris made a big stink because we decided which families were hosting Thanksgiving and Christmas without consulting them and apparently, they wanted to host it. Frankly, we made the decision without them because no one actually likes going to their house. It's not inviting, it doesn't feel like a home; we're just not comfortable being there.
But they made such a big stink about it and were so adamant about hosting Thanksgiving this year, that we gave in. We didn't really agree. We just didn't argue with them.
Months and months in advance, we usually start talking about Thanksgiving and Christmas; start figuring out who's going to host which and what not. This year, silence. No one wanted to bring it up. No one said a word. We'd talk amongst ourselves, but no one really wanted to know. My aunt and uncle Cris didn't bring it up and no one brought it up to them.
We were divided in opinion. I personally thought that if they were really going to host Thanksgiving, then they would have confirmed it and given everyone details. So the fact that they hadn't said a peep about it was their way of getting out of it. My Godmother, on the other hand, thought the opposite; that they would have spoken up if they weren't going to host it anymore, but since they'd made a stink about it last year, they were definitely hosting it.
Either way, no one wanted to be the one to ask. No one wanted to be the person to call and ask and make sure they were hosting Thanksgiving. We were stuck in a waiting game.
Mom thought we should just wait until the day of and if they called and said come over, then we'd go over, but if they didn't call, well then, we'd all just stay at our own houses. I didn't like this plan. It left the door wide open for problems. Especially if they had every intention of hosting and didn't think they needed to call and confirm, and then no one shows up - imagine the scandal that would've caused.
So I was the one that had the balls to call them. The week before Thanksgiving, after days of my Godmother chickening out, I called my uncle and confirmed Thanksgiving was at their house. And then everyone got mad at me for calling because no one really wanted to go to their house. Not like I was looking forward to it. Ever since the initial argument last year, I had said I wasn't going; that I had to work. But I sucked it up all for the "family."
Yeah, ask me if that didn't come back to smack me in the face.
I was unaware of certain things that had happened until the end of the evening, but still the time spent was not very pleasant. It was hot inside the house and thus, I was hot and sweaty; not a good thing. I spent most of the night fawning over the little ones; first my cousin's twin boys (she's pregnant again btw, due April 20), then my Goddaughter and niece, then my other niece and my newborn niece (she'll be 5 months tomorrow). I tried to take photos, even took both of my cameras, but it was hard to do while carrying one of the twins. I'd try passing him to others, but then he'd start crying and would only settle down when I took him back. (awwww) Honestly, though, my heart hasn't really been in taking photos anymore. I'm almost only doing it because it's expected, not because I really want to. Towards the end of the night, I handed my camera over to my 6 year old niece and sent her to take photos until the battery ran out. She had fun. :)
Unfortunately, the biggest offense of the evening was not discovered until the end of the night when we were getting ready to leave. Our family tradition has always been that each family cooks a meal, and we always take the turkey and traditional side dishes. No matter who's hosting, we always do the turkey and this year was no different. My sister spent all day cooking everything from scratch; and she didn't even want to go to Thanksgiving dinner at my uncle and aunt's house, but she did.
When we arrived for dinner, we discovered that my aunt had also made a turkey. She said that as the hostess, it was her job to make the turkey. BULLSHIT!
My mom tried to arrange everything we took, but was kicked out of the kitchen by my aunt and uncle. She was told to relax and that they'd take care of things. Before agreeing to leave the kitchen, though, my mom handed them everything and told them everything we had taken. When dinner was served, we noticed that our plates did not contain anything we had taken, but that was ok because maybe it'd gone to others.
When it was time to leave and my mom and sister went into the kitchen to retrieve tupperware containers and take leftovers, they saw that everything we had taken was thrown in a corner and completely untouched. They had cut into the turkey we took, but only because the turkey my aunt had made was too small and not enough for our big family. But everything else was on the floor in a corner. My aunt claims she thought it was a diaper bag, but she's full of shit. My mom handed it to her; we're the only f'ing family that doesn't have babies - how could she even think it was a diaper bag?!?!?!
To say my sister was pissed would be an understatement. She practically pushed mom out of the house and made sure nothing we had taken was left behind, as well as making sure that we didn't bring any leftovers from anybody else. My uncle walked out to the car and my sister did not hesitate and unleashed her fury on him.
She won't return to their house. She refuses to go to another family event hosted at their house. And if you thought I was stubborn and could hold a grudge, you haven't met my sister. She's ten times worse than me. She doesn't hold her tongue for even a second. At least I know when to shut up and go with the flow, out of respect for my mother, but my sister will let you have it. When she unleashed on my uncle, he said nothing. He never responds when called on something.
During the toast that night, my aunt had said they wanted to host Christmas as well, even though my uncle Jose was already scheduled to host. To make matters worse, my uncle Jose said he was not going to deny it to them because he didn't want to cause problems. But in ceding Christmas to them, he assured a division in the family would occur. My sister won't go to their house and since it's Christmas, we're not going to spend it without my sister, so that means we're not going to spend Christmas with the family, we'll be on our own. When we told our uncle Jose that we wouldn't be going to their house, he said if we didn't go, then he wouldn't go either.
As far as I know, we're not spending Christmas with the family, which means I'm saving a heck of a lot of money now that I don't have to buy them all presents. Of course, I probably will buy presents for all except my aunt and uncle Cris' family.
My Godmother came over last night and I told her everything, as she was unaware of what had happened, and now they're trying to salvage Christmas and the family.
There's only one problem: you can't salvage anything if the problem at hand is not addressed.
But they made such a big stink about it and were so adamant about hosting Thanksgiving this year, that we gave in. We didn't really agree. We just didn't argue with them.
Months and months in advance, we usually start talking about Thanksgiving and Christmas; start figuring out who's going to host which and what not. This year, silence. No one wanted to bring it up. No one said a word. We'd talk amongst ourselves, but no one really wanted to know. My aunt and uncle Cris didn't bring it up and no one brought it up to them.
We were divided in opinion. I personally thought that if they were really going to host Thanksgiving, then they would have confirmed it and given everyone details. So the fact that they hadn't said a peep about it was their way of getting out of it. My Godmother, on the other hand, thought the opposite; that they would have spoken up if they weren't going to host it anymore, but since they'd made a stink about it last year, they were definitely hosting it.
Either way, no one wanted to be the one to ask. No one wanted to be the person to call and ask and make sure they were hosting Thanksgiving. We were stuck in a waiting game.
Mom thought we should just wait until the day of and if they called and said come over, then we'd go over, but if they didn't call, well then, we'd all just stay at our own houses. I didn't like this plan. It left the door wide open for problems. Especially if they had every intention of hosting and didn't think they needed to call and confirm, and then no one shows up - imagine the scandal that would've caused.
So I was the one that had the balls to call them. The week before Thanksgiving, after days of my Godmother chickening out, I called my uncle and confirmed Thanksgiving was at their house. And then everyone got mad at me for calling because no one really wanted to go to their house. Not like I was looking forward to it. Ever since the initial argument last year, I had said I wasn't going; that I had to work. But I sucked it up all for the "family."
Yeah, ask me if that didn't come back to smack me in the face.
I was unaware of certain things that had happened until the end of the evening, but still the time spent was not very pleasant. It was hot inside the house and thus, I was hot and sweaty; not a good thing. I spent most of the night fawning over the little ones; first my cousin's twin boys (she's pregnant again btw, due April 20), then my Goddaughter and niece, then my other niece and my newborn niece (she'll be 5 months tomorrow). I tried to take photos, even took both of my cameras, but it was hard to do while carrying one of the twins. I'd try passing him to others, but then he'd start crying and would only settle down when I took him back. (awwww) Honestly, though, my heart hasn't really been in taking photos anymore. I'm almost only doing it because it's expected, not because I really want to. Towards the end of the night, I handed my camera over to my 6 year old niece and sent her to take photos until the battery ran out. She had fun. :)
Unfortunately, the biggest offense of the evening was not discovered until the end of the night when we were getting ready to leave. Our family tradition has always been that each family cooks a meal, and we always take the turkey and traditional side dishes. No matter who's hosting, we always do the turkey and this year was no different. My sister spent all day cooking everything from scratch; and she didn't even want to go to Thanksgiving dinner at my uncle and aunt's house, but she did.
When we arrived for dinner, we discovered that my aunt had also made a turkey. She said that as the hostess, it was her job to make the turkey. BULLSHIT!
My mom tried to arrange everything we took, but was kicked out of the kitchen by my aunt and uncle. She was told to relax and that they'd take care of things. Before agreeing to leave the kitchen, though, my mom handed them everything and told them everything we had taken. When dinner was served, we noticed that our plates did not contain anything we had taken, but that was ok because maybe it'd gone to others.
When it was time to leave and my mom and sister went into the kitchen to retrieve tupperware containers and take leftovers, they saw that everything we had taken was thrown in a corner and completely untouched. They had cut into the turkey we took, but only because the turkey my aunt had made was too small and not enough for our big family. But everything else was on the floor in a corner. My aunt claims she thought it was a diaper bag, but she's full of shit. My mom handed it to her; we're the only f'ing family that doesn't have babies - how could she even think it was a diaper bag?!?!?!
To say my sister was pissed would be an understatement. She practically pushed mom out of the house and made sure nothing we had taken was left behind, as well as making sure that we didn't bring any leftovers from anybody else. My uncle walked out to the car and my sister did not hesitate and unleashed her fury on him.
She won't return to their house. She refuses to go to another family event hosted at their house. And if you thought I was stubborn and could hold a grudge, you haven't met my sister. She's ten times worse than me. She doesn't hold her tongue for even a second. At least I know when to shut up and go with the flow, out of respect for my mother, but my sister will let you have it. When she unleashed on my uncle, he said nothing. He never responds when called on something.
During the toast that night, my aunt had said they wanted to host Christmas as well, even though my uncle Jose was already scheduled to host. To make matters worse, my uncle Jose said he was not going to deny it to them because he didn't want to cause problems. But in ceding Christmas to them, he assured a division in the family would occur. My sister won't go to their house and since it's Christmas, we're not going to spend it without my sister, so that means we're not going to spend Christmas with the family, we'll be on our own. When we told our uncle Jose that we wouldn't be going to their house, he said if we didn't go, then he wouldn't go either.
As far as I know, we're not spending Christmas with the family, which means I'm saving a heck of a lot of money now that I don't have to buy them all presents. Of course, I probably will buy presents for all except my aunt and uncle Cris' family.
My Godmother came over last night and I told her everything, as she was unaware of what had happened, and now they're trying to salvage Christmas and the family.
There's only one problem: you can't salvage anything if the problem at hand is not addressed.
Friday, November 21, 2008
Need a release
I need to have sex. Last night, I, well, um, I, um...more extensively than I have been and I slept so soundly. No tossing and turning. No waking up in the middle of the night. I even slept through my alarms. Well, I always sleep through them, but I hear them and just ignore them. This morning I heard nothing. And when I woke up, I actually felt refreshed.
I've been so stressed lately with absolutely no release. So last night was, well, um, a much needed breakthrough. I don't know how I do it; how I go so long without. I need it.
Ack! I almost wish he was here, just so I could fill this need. But no, it would be wrong. ack.
I don't think I'll be able to go very much longer without. I need to find a solution to this problem of mine. ;)
I've been so stressed lately with absolutely no release. So last night was, well, um, a much needed breakthrough. I don't know how I do it; how I go so long without. I need it.
Ack! I almost wish he was here, just so I could fill this need. But no, it would be wrong. ack.
I don't think I'll be able to go very much longer without. I need to find a solution to this problem of mine. ;)
Friday, November 14, 2008
I want more
I went trick-o-treatin' with my girls on Halloween. Obviously we were going to go by P's house. He always gives out candy, but you'd think he would have learned by now to add some lights to his porch and make it more visible that there's candy there. Every year it's the same thing. You can hear him yelling out "CANDY!" at the top of his lungs, but no one ever goes to his house. This year when the kids came to my Godmother's house, we directed them over there after P came over and asked us to.
So, my cousin, her husband, my Goddaughter, my niece and I head out trick-o-treatin' and his is the first house we hit. He's sitting on the porch with his mom and fiancee. Yes, that's right, he's engaged. I can't believe he's marrying her. I don't know her, obviously. Why would I? It's not like we were together and it's not like he would ever bring himself to admit he slept with me. But still, I can't believe he's marrying her. She's so plain. She's so...well, I don't know what she is, but I can't help thinking I'm cuter than her, that I would have been a better choice.
OK, don't get the wrong idea. I wouldn't have married him. Oh no, there were serious issues there; serious incompatibilities. Nonetheless, I still believe I am the better catch.
But, whatever.
So we went to his house and my cousin's husband noticed that P was already wearing a wedding ring. He asked him if he was married and P responded that the wedding was next year.
Why is he wearing his wedding ring then?
That does not read to me like a committed guy, but a guy that's trying to prove something. That's the thing about P; he's always trying to prove how much of a stud he is, how much of a man he is. He can't just be himself, he has to show the people around him that he's more than he really is, and it's really kind of sad; he'd be a better person if he was just happy with who he is and what he has.
I'm trying to be like that; accepting of who I am as a person. Yes, always striving to be a better me, but not a better someone else.
I shouldn't care he's engaged. I really don't, I swear. Well, at least not in the way that I lament it's not me he's marrying. Like I said, serious incompatibility issues. I'm affected by his engagement because he's the only guy I've ever slept with. He was my first. He was my last.
Yes, there have been two others that I've done things with, but I was never able to really give myself completely to them. P was different. At least I thought he was. You really never know someone until you sleep with them. Up until that point, they're showing you the best of who they are in order to get what they want. And then, after, they show you who they really are. At least, that was the case with P. So after I gave myself completely to him, he showed me who he was. I don't regret sleeping with him, it felt right at the time. I learned a lot from that experience. I learned what I wanted and what I didn't want. I definitely do not want P.
But as long as I can't give myself completely to someone else, he will be ever present in my mind, in my soul. I need to cleanse myself of him; rid him from my being and turn him into just a memory. I don't know how to do that without sleeping with someone else, and I don't know how to sleep with someone else without being emotionally connected to them.
I learned the hard way that I'm not a girl that can do the casual sex thing. OK, so the last few times I was with P it was just sex, but remember, I was emotionally connected to Boston boy and just using P as a stand-in for him. (I know, bad faded girl!)
So why don't I sleep with Boston boy, you ask? Good question. It's just not going to happen. There are too many obstacles. We want different things. He just wants sex. I want more. I'm just not the girl he wants. Sure, he enjoys the pleasures that I provide, but I'm not _THE_ girl. He could've been _THE_ guy for me. I seriously thought he was. But he's not. And I just can't settle for anything less than what I really want. We work so much better when there's an entire country between us than when we're in the same place together. And of course, the fact that he's now a dad, but yet didn't feel it was necessary to tell me about his impending fatherhood. Sure I knew, of course, I'd know. But if he ever respected me, just a little, and thought there was even the smallest possibility that I could be the girl for him, don't you think he should have told me? I do. So the fact that he didn't, hasn't, well, that says a lot right there.
He can text me naughty messages. He can say he enjoyed the times my mouth was wrapped around him and can't wait until the next time. He can say he's going to do all sorts of things to me. But that's all it is, right - just sex. No feelings, no emotions, no connection, no love; just sex. I can't do just sex anymore. I want more. I deserve more.
Thoughts have been flitting around in my head; thoughts that shouldn't be there. On paper, it all looks good. But the reality is different. I feel like I'll never be good enough. No matter what I do. I'm not the hot chick. I'm not the gorgeous babe. I'm just one of the guys. I've always just been one of the guys.
So where does that leave me?
How does a girl that loves sex, but can't do casual sex because she needs a connection, have sex? How does a girl that's put her career first and thus, has no time to find someone, get the relationship she's always wanted? How does a girl that's heartbroken because she realized her physical appearance was the reason he was never able to love her, have hope that one day her prince will come?
So, my cousin, her husband, my Goddaughter, my niece and I head out trick-o-treatin' and his is the first house we hit. He's sitting on the porch with his mom and fiancee. Yes, that's right, he's engaged. I can't believe he's marrying her. I don't know her, obviously. Why would I? It's not like we were together and it's not like he would ever bring himself to admit he slept with me. But still, I can't believe he's marrying her. She's so plain. She's so...well, I don't know what she is, but I can't help thinking I'm cuter than her, that I would have been a better choice.
OK, don't get the wrong idea. I wouldn't have married him. Oh no, there were serious issues there; serious incompatibilities. Nonetheless, I still believe I am the better catch.
But, whatever.
So we went to his house and my cousin's husband noticed that P was already wearing a wedding ring. He asked him if he was married and P responded that the wedding was next year.
Why is he wearing his wedding ring then?
That does not read to me like a committed guy, but a guy that's trying to prove something. That's the thing about P; he's always trying to prove how much of a stud he is, how much of a man he is. He can't just be himself, he has to show the people around him that he's more than he really is, and it's really kind of sad; he'd be a better person if he was just happy with who he is and what he has.
I'm trying to be like that; accepting of who I am as a person. Yes, always striving to be a better me, but not a better someone else.
I shouldn't care he's engaged. I really don't, I swear. Well, at least not in the way that I lament it's not me he's marrying. Like I said, serious incompatibility issues. I'm affected by his engagement because he's the only guy I've ever slept with. He was my first. He was my last.
Yes, there have been two others that I've done things with, but I was never able to really give myself completely to them. P was different. At least I thought he was. You really never know someone until you sleep with them. Up until that point, they're showing you the best of who they are in order to get what they want. And then, after, they show you who they really are. At least, that was the case with P. So after I gave myself completely to him, he showed me who he was. I don't regret sleeping with him, it felt right at the time. I learned a lot from that experience. I learned what I wanted and what I didn't want. I definitely do not want P.
But as long as I can't give myself completely to someone else, he will be ever present in my mind, in my soul. I need to cleanse myself of him; rid him from my being and turn him into just a memory. I don't know how to do that without sleeping with someone else, and I don't know how to sleep with someone else without being emotionally connected to them.
I learned the hard way that I'm not a girl that can do the casual sex thing. OK, so the last few times I was with P it was just sex, but remember, I was emotionally connected to Boston boy and just using P as a stand-in for him. (I know, bad faded girl!)
So why don't I sleep with Boston boy, you ask? Good question. It's just not going to happen. There are too many obstacles. We want different things. He just wants sex. I want more. I'm just not the girl he wants. Sure, he enjoys the pleasures that I provide, but I'm not _THE_ girl. He could've been _THE_ guy for me. I seriously thought he was. But he's not. And I just can't settle for anything less than what I really want. We work so much better when there's an entire country between us than when we're in the same place together. And of course, the fact that he's now a dad, but yet didn't feel it was necessary to tell me about his impending fatherhood. Sure I knew, of course, I'd know. But if he ever respected me, just a little, and thought there was even the smallest possibility that I could be the girl for him, don't you think he should have told me? I do. So the fact that he didn't, hasn't, well, that says a lot right there.
He can text me naughty messages. He can say he enjoyed the times my mouth was wrapped around him and can't wait until the next time. He can say he's going to do all sorts of things to me. But that's all it is, right - just sex. No feelings, no emotions, no connection, no love; just sex. I can't do just sex anymore. I want more. I deserve more.
Thoughts have been flitting around in my head; thoughts that shouldn't be there. On paper, it all looks good. But the reality is different. I feel like I'll never be good enough. No matter what I do. I'm not the hot chick. I'm not the gorgeous babe. I'm just one of the guys. I've always just been one of the guys.
So where does that leave me?
How does a girl that loves sex, but can't do casual sex because she needs a connection, have sex? How does a girl that's put her career first and thus, has no time to find someone, get the relationship she's always wanted? How does a girl that's heartbroken because she realized her physical appearance was the reason he was never able to love her, have hope that one day her prince will come?
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Monday, November 3, 2008
Bitter disappointment
My hopes and dreams vanished in one simple utterance: "My girlfriend has the book."
It's the story of my life, no?
I let myself get carried away by these thoughts and now I feel silly. Well, I feel stupid. :(
I knew my boss was on crack and I should have just stuck to my instincts and not let it go to my head. I don't even know how I hid the disappointment in my face when he brought up his girlfriend. Maybe I didn't; maybe it was noticeable. I am truly disappointed. :(
It's the story of my life, no?
I let myself get carried away by these thoughts and now I feel silly. Well, I feel stupid. :(
I knew my boss was on crack and I should have just stuck to my instincts and not let it go to my head. I don't even know how I hid the disappointment in my face when he brought up his girlfriend. Maybe I didn't; maybe it was noticeable. I am truly disappointed. :(
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Got my hair did
I got highlights. I was in desperate need of something new.
Think he'll notice? Most importantly, think he'll like?
And just because I'm hoping he'll notice and like my hair, does not mean I did this for him, okay?!? I did it for me. It would just be an added bonus for him to like it. ;-)
Think he'll notice? Most importantly, think he'll like?
And just because I'm hoping he'll notice and like my hair, does not mean I did this for him, okay?!? I did it for me. It would just be an added bonus for him to like it. ;-)
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Friday, October 31, 2008
I can breathe again
Deleting my old blog was one of the hardest things I've had to do recently; in my personal life at least. It was three years of my life - the good, the bad, the ugly, the insane....EVERYTHING.
And now it's gone. :(
It took a couple of tries before I could actually click the delete button and then a few more times before I could click the "are you sure?" button that appears. But I did it. And a weight was lifted off my shoulders.
Things had gotten ridiculously complicated. I was driving myself crazy with the different blogs and I'm sure I was also driving all of my friends crazy. But no more.
I have a fresh start; a new beginning for a new life. A new life is what I've had since I left my old job for this new company. I've been given a once in a lifetime opportunity; an opportunity to create and build something great. These past few months have not been easy, aside the turmoil it's created in my personal life, I've had to face many challenges I never thought possible.
I am stressed beyond belief, but it's all so thrilling. I completed my first project with my new system. Granted, it was a very small test project that the client isn't paying for at all, but it was very real nonetheless. And now, I'm gearing up for my first major project; one we will be billing the client for. I'm hella freaked and terrified, and yet, I can't wait. :)
I think it helps a little that I have this HUGE crush on one of the system developers. ;-) It just sorta grew on me. I always thought he was cute, but it was never any more than that, especially because he usually frustrated the heck out of me. Above all, he annoyed me. I always felt like he wasn't listening to what I said or wanted. He argued with me. We butted heads a lot. And really, that's what did it, no? He didn't just go with what I wanted because I was the client. He thought about things and would say "no, that's not going to work."
He has no problem arguing with me and saying he's not going to ask me something when he knows I don't know the answer. My response to that - how do you know I don't know the answer? His response - because you don't. Excuse me?!? But that's just it, that's why I find myself dressing cute when I'm going to see him and doing my hair for him, why I'm crushing big time - he challenges me. He doesn't just roll over and go with "the client's always right" motto. He'll fight me to the death if he needs to, but I'll fight too and when I win and he turns out to be right and I have to go back to him and tell him he was right, he relishes saying I told you so, even though he doesn't really say it, but that grin on his face says it for him. But, of course, how stubborn am I? Even then I won't back down and he'll just continue arguing with me.
Last Friday we even got into it in Spanish. Yes, he's Latino. Shocking, huh? I keep falling for the Latino's considering I've always said I wanted to marry a white guy.
When we work one on one, we get along great. We really understand one another and click. When we're with everyone else, well, that's when he annoys me the most. He's not good in front of a group. He's very logical, which is annoying sometimes, and demands examples a lot. Or will ask, "how many checkers complained" when I tell him to change something because there were complaints.
We're slowly getting to know one another on a personal level. I think I understand him better now and don't get as annoyed anymore. We've been putting a lot of effort into making sure we're on the same page and completely agree. Not only that, though, we're getting to know each other on a personal level, our likes and dislikes. Unfortunately, I'm still not sure how old he is. He's around my age, but a little older I think; somewhere between 30-35.
My boss seems to think he has a thing for me. She says he looks and speaks to me differently. It also doesn't help that when we work together, we end up spending a lot of time together. Last Friday, I spent three and a half hours with him after our regular two hour meeting considering we were only supposed to take about an hour. Same thing today; a planned hour turned into just over 2, plus lunch. It's such a tricky situation, though, because of the whole client-vendor dynamic and has the potential to go awfully bad very quickly.
Besides, I think my boss is on crack when she says he has a thing for me. I've given him two opportunities and nothing. Twice, I've worn some really cute outfits that emphasize certain assets and nothing; absolutely no reaction from him. Like I said, it's a tricky situation, but it's been a nice distraction. It's helped me get through some of this work stress and that's a very good thing. ;-)
And now it's gone. :(
It took a couple of tries before I could actually click the delete button and then a few more times before I could click the "are you sure?" button that appears. But I did it. And a weight was lifted off my shoulders.
Things had gotten ridiculously complicated. I was driving myself crazy with the different blogs and I'm sure I was also driving all of my friends crazy. But no more.
I have a fresh start; a new beginning for a new life. A new life is what I've had since I left my old job for this new company. I've been given a once in a lifetime opportunity; an opportunity to create and build something great. These past few months have not been easy, aside the turmoil it's created in my personal life, I've had to face many challenges I never thought possible.
I am stressed beyond belief, but it's all so thrilling. I completed my first project with my new system. Granted, it was a very small test project that the client isn't paying for at all, but it was very real nonetheless. And now, I'm gearing up for my first major project; one we will be billing the client for. I'm hella freaked and terrified, and yet, I can't wait. :)
I think it helps a little that I have this HUGE crush on one of the system developers. ;-) It just sorta grew on me. I always thought he was cute, but it was never any more than that, especially because he usually frustrated the heck out of me. Above all, he annoyed me. I always felt like he wasn't listening to what I said or wanted. He argued with me. We butted heads a lot. And really, that's what did it, no? He didn't just go with what I wanted because I was the client. He thought about things and would say "no, that's not going to work."
He has no problem arguing with me and saying he's not going to ask me something when he knows I don't know the answer. My response to that - how do you know I don't know the answer? His response - because you don't. Excuse me?!? But that's just it, that's why I find myself dressing cute when I'm going to see him and doing my hair for him, why I'm crushing big time - he challenges me. He doesn't just roll over and go with "the client's always right" motto. He'll fight me to the death if he needs to, but I'll fight too and when I win and he turns out to be right and I have to go back to him and tell him he was right, he relishes saying I told you so, even though he doesn't really say it, but that grin on his face says it for him. But, of course, how stubborn am I? Even then I won't back down and he'll just continue arguing with me.
Last Friday we even got into it in Spanish. Yes, he's Latino. Shocking, huh? I keep falling for the Latino's considering I've always said I wanted to marry a white guy.
When we work one on one, we get along great. We really understand one another and click. When we're with everyone else, well, that's when he annoys me the most. He's not good in front of a group. He's very logical, which is annoying sometimes, and demands examples a lot. Or will ask, "how many checkers complained" when I tell him to change something because there were complaints.
We're slowly getting to know one another on a personal level. I think I understand him better now and don't get as annoyed anymore. We've been putting a lot of effort into making sure we're on the same page and completely agree. Not only that, though, we're getting to know each other on a personal level, our likes and dislikes. Unfortunately, I'm still not sure how old he is. He's around my age, but a little older I think; somewhere between 30-35.
My boss seems to think he has a thing for me. She says he looks and speaks to me differently. It also doesn't help that when we work together, we end up spending a lot of time together. Last Friday, I spent three and a half hours with him after our regular two hour meeting considering we were only supposed to take about an hour. Same thing today; a planned hour turned into just over 2, plus lunch. It's such a tricky situation, though, because of the whole client-vendor dynamic and has the potential to go awfully bad very quickly.
Besides, I think my boss is on crack when she says he has a thing for me. I've given him two opportunities and nothing. Twice, I've worn some really cute outfits that emphasize certain assets and nothing; absolutely no reaction from him. Like I said, it's a tricky situation, but it's been a nice distraction. It's helped me get through some of this work stress and that's a very good thing. ;-)
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
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