The bottom

It's funny how quickly one's world comes crashing down. One minute you are the shit, and the next, well, you're just shit.

I never had illusions of grandeur. I always knew I was replaceable.

Sometimes it really is hard to face that truth, though.

The world is full of shitty people. And I guess my fault lies in not accepting that truth; in not shrugging my shoulders and saying, "oh well, that's life," but in expecting and demanding better.

I think, though, I have enough confidence in myself and good people around me that have been truly AMAZING through all of this. Life if crappy right now, but, not to sound so cliche, I will survive. I will get through this and be the better for it.

Sometimes it takes things like this to happen to really appreciate what you do have and be thankful for the support and love of so many.

I'm lucky. I'm still young enough, early enough in my career to be able to walk away from a bad situation and find my own way.

I'm scared. I'm freaking out about what to do next, but if I had to do it all over again, I wouldn't change a thing. I would have quit my job last year and taken this job, and I would have walked away from this job again if circumstances had been the same.

OK, maybe I would have changed a couple of things: I wouldn't have second-guessed myself, I would have followed my instincts and never allowed myself to be forced to hire someone I knew wasn't going to work out. I wouldn't have let them play with my head the way they did and would have had more faith in my own abilities.

I am great at what I do for one simple reason - it's all I've ever done. I started my career at the very bottom and worked my way up, so I know and understand this side of the business so very well. Others may not think I was ready or mature enough for this position, but to hell with them. Look at everything I accomplished. I did a GREAT job! No matter what anyone says, I built that and I will be proud of it for the rest of my life, even though I didn't get to finish it, but the framework is all me.

So, things are bad right now, but they'll get better. I have faith. And that's all I really need because I'm still me and no one can take that from me. I'm not afraid to start at the bottom again. And I won't have to step on anyone to get back to the top.

I am a force to be reckoned with. I will not be defeated.

Hear me ROAR, I AM WOMAN!