In April it will be two years.

I have been with F for almost two years.

It hasn't been easy. We've had our rough patches...many rough patches. We've worked through them, mostly because I refuse to give up, but we've worked through them.

I still can't believe it's been almost two years. Heck, he didn't think we'd make it past 6 months. But here we are and we're even talking about moving in together.

Today, an ex co-worker announced his engagement on FB. Well, his fiancee did. Back in December, they changed their status to "in a relationship" on FB. Not exactly sure how long they were dating before the official FB status change, though.

Last November, my high school friend N and his girlfriend got engaged. I met her in July and don't think I had heard of her prior to that, so I'm sure how long they've actually been together. But I don't think she came into the picture before June.

So today with the engagement announcement of my ex co-worker, I started thinking about relationships. How soon is too soon? How fast is too fast? Or how slow is too slow?

I've been with F for almost two years and we are just now talking about moving in together. To me that is HUGE. Living with a boy, oh my! (It's totally not the same as having a brother or living in coed dorms/houses in college.)

I can safely say I'd be happy to spend the rest of my life with F, but I don't exactly know if I need to be married to him to do so. It's funny though, because if we go back just four years, two years before F, I was ready to marry MH and we weren't together very long. Sure, we'd known each other for a few years, but we hadn't even been intimate and I was ready to move cross country and marry him. Considering everything that happened, that may not have worked out, but we'll never really know.

So, why, now that I've been with F for almost two years and I do want to spend the rest of my life with him...I do love him...why is the thought of marriage not even in my brain? Is it just because I know he doesn't want to get married? Or have my views on relationships just changed?

F was pretty clear on his thoughts on marriage and kids in the beginning. He didn't want babies. He didn't want to get married. And I was OK with that. (I know, I know, hard to believe since I've always wanted kids, but honestly, the older I've gotten the less I want kids.) But every now and then, he says something that makes me pause and I wonder if I heard him correctly. Sometimes he alludes to marriage and kids. Sometimes. OK, maybe just once or twice, but for a man that flatly stated he didn't want any of that, once or twice is a big deal.

F's protective walls were higher and thicker than mine, so the fact that we're even talking about moving in together is a big coup. I don't know how soon is too soon or how fast is too fast or how slow is too slow. What I do know is that I'm happy to take this next step with F and see where it leads.