My heart still aches for my sweet Gaby. I can't think about her without tears coming to my eyes. Thinking of the events I will never experience with her makes me sob uncontrollably. I will never get to see her walk down the aisle on her wedding day. I will never get to hold her children in my arms. But it's the everyday life I will miss. I will never get to buy her anything or yell at her when she messes up. She is gone and while I'm left with memories of her, my heart has a hole in it and it will never be filled.
With loss, came new additions into the family as my cousin's marriage brought a new step-niece into the family as well as a new baby niece, Lilyanne.
The year began with a trip to snowy and cold Idaho to visit friends. Not only were fun times had, but the trip resulted in an unexpected job opportunity, setting the tone for the rest of the year. While it was a wonderful opportunity and more than I could ever have expected, it didn't come without it's negative points. Changing positions from one company to another wreaked havoc in my personal life, as well as my professional life. Friendships changed; and I can't help wondering if some friendships were completely fake and circumstantial.
This year, distance played a big role in my relationships. I traveled to Idaho twice to spend time with my best friend at a time I needed her most. My life was in complete and utter chaos. I needed comfort and relaxation and who better to get it from than the person that knows me so well she can finish my sentences and know what I'm thinking without having to say it.
When I changed company's and thus work locations, it brought me closer to one of my best friends from high school. To say we'd drifted apart in the years after high school would be an understatement. We'd kept in touch on and off, and for the last five years or so, most of our communication was through this blog. He kept up to speed with my life visiting my blog daily, and every few months there'd be a phone conversation or e-mail, but that was pretty much it until this year. Now we both work in the valley and take the metro rail so it made it pretty convenient to get together for lunch or drinks after work and dinner. Though, I must admit, it was awkward at first, not having seen each other in so long, but we were able to settle into a comfortable place with each other, nearly as close as we were in high school. It helps that he knows everything about my life because of my blog and I can just be myself, I don't have to hide anything; he knows all my drama. Due to our close proximity (I go by his office every day, twice a day, on my way to and from work), I've come to rely on him for my stress relief. Whenever I'm feeling overwhelmed and stressed out at work, I can call on him for some after-work drinks, if he's not already otherwise engaged. And he's introduced me to new places in Downtown LA; a whole new scene. He's been a good friend when I've needed one, and I even missed him when he was on vacation for two weeks.
As friendships with some grew, others were thrown into upheaval for different reasons. I spent less time with Mari after she quit her job (finally!) and was no longer commuting down to LA. Sometimes friendships can't survive only on phone calls. Luckily, she's back to working in LA and commuting, but she's also going to school, so her time is limited. But I've already seen her more in the last few weeks, than I did in a 6-month time frame, so we should be okay. :-)
Other friendships were beaten up pretty bad with my job switch, but are showing signs of recovery, so that's good.
Yes, I sacrificed a great deal when I changed jobs, but I don't regret my decision. I've gained so much and have been introduced into a world I never thought was possible. I've been given a once in a lifetime opportunity and I'm trying to make the most out of it, even though it's definitely not easy and there are times when I just want to walk away, but I've worked so hard to get to this point and I'm not about to let anything or anyone stop me.
Another highlight of the year was all the traveling I got to do. In addition to my two Idaho trips, I had a work trip to Vegas and three trips to reconnect with more friends I hadn't seen in a long time. I guess 2008 was also a year of reconnecting.
First up was San Francisco for Kimmy's wedding, which also happened to be my 30th birthday.
I tried not to focus on the birthday aspect of the trip, but it was inevitable. I mean, it was my 30th birthday. :) I spent a wonderfully long weekend in San Francisco with Tiny and reconnected with old college friends. Kimmy's wedding was absolutely beautiful. The thing I took most away from that weekend was when Sachin asked, "What happened to the "faded girl" I used to know?"
Exactly. What happened to that girl? I've been asking myself that same question for years now.
Upon returning from San Francisco, I had to run to the DMV to renew my ID before my flight to MN, and while I was there I got my driving permit. I've had it since early September and yet, I still haven't been behind the wheel of a car.
In mid-September, I flew to MN and went back to my alma mater for the first time in almost a decade. I was reunited with my roommate from freshman year and again, reconnected with old friends.
Most importantly, I was flooded with old memories and created some wonderful new ones. The second I stepped off the taxi at my hotel, it was like I stepped back into the past. Things were the same, things were different, but as I walked down the streets of Northfield, vivid memories of times past came back. I was 18 again, walking down the town's main street. Walking into some of the same stores and restaurants was like I never left. And when I took my first steps onto campus, OH MY GOD. There were things that had obviously changed, but many times I had to look twice to notice. What surprised me the most was being recognized and remembered. Unfortunately, I'm not the girl I used to be, or at least, she hadn't quite made it back at the time, so there was obvious awkwardness on my part, not knowing exactly how to relate to others and just be myself. A decade with no communication is a long time.
At the end of September I went back to NorCal for Quynhnie's wedding. It had been a few years since I'd seen her and things had changed a lot for her. I was so excited and thrilled to be a part of her big day.
Unfortunately, the rest of the year was completely devoted to work. Except the two times I saw New Kids on the Block in concert in October and then again in November; finally fulfilling a childhood dream.
I can't believe how quickly the year ended; 2008 began and ended in a whir. The months just flew by. I had a "normal" work schedule for a few months and got my weekends back, which meant I spent more time with family. I love spending time with my Goddaughter, especially when she's super loving and the last few times I've been over, she's been so playful; she kept tickling me and jumping all over me. She is just so adorable.
I look ahead to 2009, which is already sure to be filled with exciting times, a lot of hard work, and no absence of stress and pressure; just how I like things. ;-)
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