2011

I started out the year at Disneyland. I had originally wanted to go on New Year's Eve, but Uni and SadRomeo had previous engagements and everyone kept saying how crazy crowded Disneyland is on New Year's Eve, so New Year's Day it was. It was cold, but not too crowded, so the lines weren't very long to get on the rides. In the evening, I got soaked on Pirates of the Caribbean and was freezing, so I ended up having to shell out money for a sweatshirt and they are not cheap there. I was so warm and comfy I didn't want to leave anymore. :)

After a great start to the new year, I don't know what happened. All week I've felt off somehow. My sleep has been off. I'm totally tired, but can't get to sleep. And then I can't get up in the morning. At work I've been sleepy and slower than usual; just really not wanting to be there. I don't know if I'm getting sick or what it is that's come over me this week. I feel like something is missing; something's not quite right, but I can't put my finger on it.

After 2009, 2010 was a year of recovery and definitely a 100 times better than 2009. I spent most weekends at the movies, especially after I got my free pass at work.

But 2010 can best be summed up with two letters - YV. As Secretary, I was involved in all aspects of YV and all the events we had. I never missed a meeting (god do I hate writing minutes!) and only missed 2 events, both in March (one I was sick and the other, well, it was in Vegas and I didn't get to go). After those two, I didn't miss a single YV event. We can't forget the Variety events I also attended, helped plan or worked.

I lived and breathed YV and I have to admit it did start to be too much. By the end of the year, I was counting the number of events before I had a break. The break was short-lived. Technically, there was no break. Just three days before Christmas we were already meeting and talking and planning the January meeting and 2011. And things happened in December that made me question why I continue to work as much as I do on YV. It feels like no matter what I do, how hard I work, I'm still on the outside looking in; I'm not part of the inner circle. Back in September, we, the officers, were already talking about the next set of officers, even though it was still over a year away, and they were saying I should be the next prez. Obviously, if you know me, then you know that was always my goal, but now, I don't want to do it. I don't want to be an officer. I don't want to deal with all this drama and crap. I'm asking myself if I even want to be involved with them. I'm beginning to think it's time to go back to my roots, to go back to my community or look elsewhere to fill my desire to help.

I hope this year is calmer and has less drama, but who knows. I already feel myself scaling back in response to everyone else, so we'll see how the year goes.

There are changes at work because my boss left at the end of the year, so I have to see how things settle down. When my boss announced she was leaving, I started to think it was time for me to leave the Industry, maybe go to a non-profit. My boss was the only reason I stayed there so long. That and the fact I was able to spend as much time as I needed on YV since she's the vp, but let's face it, the position is way beneath my level. I need something more challenging. I now have a few more responsibilities, so I'm waiting to see how things change and then I'll decide what my next step should be.

I have all the best hopes for 2011, but I sure would like to know why I've been so down this past week. Hopefully, this upcoming week will be better.