Away...

Monday, October 10, 2011 5:00PM

You better be OK because you have me all kinds of worried. So much so that I e-mailed your mother on FB. I'm hoping you lost or broke your phone and that's why your calls go straight to voice mail. Please, one little sign of life...

Tuesday, October 11, 2011 10:42AM

Are you OK? What's going on?? I AM FREAKING OUT SO JUST REPLY WITH ONE WORD SO I KNOW YOU'RE OKAY!!!

Tuesday, October 11, 2011 9:47PM

My mind has gone from sheer panic that something has happened to you to concern. I am pretty sure that you are physically OK, but I am worried. I'm perplexed, don't understand what's going on; heck, I don't even know what's going on. I know your FB page is gone (or you've blocked me) and your cell number is no longer in service. And no one seems to want to answer my e-mails asking if you were OK. Whatever is going on, please know that I am here if you want to talk, yell & vent, anything you need, I am here

Wednesday, October 12, 2011 2:45PM

Please. I'm a worrywart to begin with and not hearing from you and not knowing if you're OK is killing me. I hold onto the fact that only you could disable your Facebook profile as a sign that you're OK, but deep down I know you're not. Please, let me be selfish, ease my worry and tell me what's going on. Think of me and let me do whatever I can to help. Please.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011 7:31PM

I came to check on you. I have no idea if you're even home or in LA, but I couldn't sit around waiting. I had to at least try. Please call.

Thursday, October 13, 2011 7:41PM

Nothing makes sense. I don't know where you are or what's going on. I don't understand why no one will tell me. How long am I supposed to go on without hearing from you or seeing you? I don't even know if you're getting these e-mails, but e-mailing you is the only thing I can think of doing to stay connected, to let you know that you're not alone, that someone is here for you. I cling to little things as signs that you're OK, that maybe you just need time. They don't make sense, but they're all I have. I don't want to think about the alternative. The alternative makes even less sense to me. I just want to know. I need to know that you're OK. Or that you're not OK. I just need to know something because this not knowing is killing me. It's tearing me up inside and it hurts too much. I know it's completely selfish, but I don't care; at least then I'd know and I'd know what to do to help. Please, I'm begging you, please come back, please call me.

Friday, October 14, 2011 9:08PM

Don't think I forgot about you. It's been a long day and it's not even close to being over. I have the Halloween Carnival tomorrow so I'm trying to get everything done. I thought focusing on that would help, but I was wrong. I think about you and the boys not being there and my heart aches. I really don't know how I'm even functioning because I can't stop thinking about you. My mind comes up with all these different scenarios and I get all worked up. My mind always gets ahead of me and not in a good way. Where are you? How are you? What's going on? These are simple questions with no answers. I wish someone would tell me. I wish you would tell me. I wish you would walk through the gate and across the field. All I can do is keep praying that my wishes come true.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011 5:55PM

I've been told by a credible source that you are back east with your parents and that you are not physically ill or hurt. But I still don't know or understand what's going on and while I am still worried about you, I am no longer panicking that you're dead in a ditch or in a hospital. Yes, my mind went there. I told you, my worry gets out of control and goes to all sorts of extremes. Don't think that just because I know where you are and that you're not physically hurt it means I don't want to hear from you. Because I DO! I'm here. Don't ever forget that. Whatever you need, I am here.

I e-mail him every day, hoping one day he will respond....