Love Born from Friendship

That is the love I’ve always believed in. Not so much love at first sight, though I do believe you instantly know upon meeting or seeing someone whether there’s the potential for something more. But a true, everlasting love, I believe is born from friendship.

The other day I watched the Anne Hathaway movie, “One Day.” It is about two people that meet and almost sleep together, but end up being best friends. For the next 20 years, we see how they spend the anniversary of their meeting. Every year on July 15th (the day they met and spent together), they make a point to connect; whether it’s helping the other move into a new apartment or just a chat on the phone. We see their lives progress or stand still, significant others come in and out of the picture, their friendship has its ups and downs, but what remains clear is that they mean a great deal to each other, but the timing has always been off. They need to grow apart in order to grow back together.

I won’t spoil the ending for you, but it was brutal. When the movie was over, I sobbed for at least 10 minutes. I think it was actually longer.

All these thoughts about love and relationships have already been floating in my head and this movie just pushed me over the edge. I dug deep within myself and all I could see was Reese Witherspoon telling Patrick Dempsey, “I gave my heart away a long time ago and I never really got it back.” (Yes, that’s from “Sweet Home Alabama;” further proof that movies and books have ruined me.)

It’s true.

I gave my heart away and I never got it back.

I never saw it coming. Probably too involved in my various other crushes to notice he had snuck into my heart. I was completely in love by the time I even realized I liked him more than just a friend. Others saw it before I did. He was my best friend. And when he started to pull away, that’s when I knew just how much I loved him.

When my heart was broken, I kept telling myself that we were meant to be. The signs were there. How could he not see them? They pointed to our being together. He was my soul mate. The strength I needed. The laughter when I thought all hope was gone. He was always there, so I never understood why he didn’t love me.

We grew apart.

We’ve grown apart.

Still in each other’s lives, but not really a part of them.

I look at him and think I don’t know him. Not like I used to. He’s not the boy I knew and loved.

I don’t think he knows me anymore. And I know I’m not the girl he knew. I stopped being her a long time ago.

So the question remains. Do I still think we’re meant to be together? Is that why I’ve closed myself off and don’t let anyone in? Do I believe he will wake up one day and realize he loves me, always has and finally, we will be together?

Or do I just live in a fantasy land?

It’s been 16 years. It’s time to let go. To let him go.

Maybe in another life, the boy and girl will finally connect.

But it’s clear, it’s not this life.