Letters

I am torn between being happy that my letters to him have not been returned and being sad because I have not received a single letter in return.

I have written him daily since his mom gave me his contact information in mid-November. I have sent him letters, cards, photos...all telling him how proud I am of him, how much I love and support him and how I will wait for him.

If you have ever received a letter from me, then you know my letters can be pretty long. I am a writer, after all. He says he is not a writer, but if you read his e-mails to me, you would disagree. However, I do know he has a hard time opening up so I realize and accept that he may not write to me like I write to him. But I had hoped to receive a response from him by now. Even just a few lines acknowledging my letters.

I am at a loss over what to do. Do I keep writing? Do I just wait?

So much is in his hands.

My heart has hope. It has faith in our love.

But my mind, my mind questions everything. Why hasn't he written? Why hasn't he tried to contact me at all? Was it all a lie? Why would he do this to me?

I really truly want to side with my heart. To have faith in him, in us, in our love and be patient with him. I want what is best for him. I want him to be happy and healthy, no matter how long it takes.

But don't I deserve something to hold on to? A few lines reaffirming his love and commitment? A few lines on how much he misses me?

I just want to know what I am supposed to do.