I am not going to NC after all.

A situation arose.

I am not ready to talk about it.

I still love him.

I have faith in our love.

We just need time to work through this new obstacle to our love.

I believe in him.

I believe in us.

Two Weeks

In two weeks I will be on my third day with him. We will be in NC for our first visit together as a couple. I cannot wait! I am so excited!

I know the hardest part will be leaving him. I know I won't want to let him go. :(

He sent me the most beautiful e-mail on my birthday, professing his love and desires for our future. I truly am the luckiest girl in the world.

I am anxious for our life together to begin. We don't have a timeline, yet, though. We're still waiting because we don't know where he's going to relocate for work yet. Each day without him gets harder and harder. He wants me to remain engaged in my life here, but to me it's a world I am no longer a part of; a life no longer mine. Very little has meaning to me. Don't get me wrong. I'm not turning my back on my friends...but work and even my activities are just a drag now. More than half the time I sit there wondering what I am even doing there. I've cut back quite a bit on my activities, taking my name off events and working only those I had already started.

I have to admit, though, while it was nice not to be engaged in my activities for two months (no e-mails, no dealing with stupidity), I almost dropped the ball big time and effed up a big event that would have disappointed kids more than myself. Thankfully, some friends helped me and saved my ass big time. So now I'm just trying to tie up the last few things and not take on anything else.

I have never been this happy and I can't wait for our adventure to begin. <3

He loves me. <3

Cute

Don't we look so cute together? :D

Brighter Than Sunshine

I'm yours and suddenly you're mine
Suddenly you're mine

It's brighter than the sun
It's brighter than the sun
It's brighter than the sun, sun, shine.

From This Moment On

I give my hand to you with all my heart
I can't wait to live my life with you I can't wait to start
You and I will never be apart
My dreams came true because of you

From this moment, as long as I live
I will love you, I promise you this
There is nothing, I wouldn't give
From this moment on

He always knew

He told me today that he always knew how I felt. He also knew when I got frustrated and gave up. I really am not good at hiding when I have feelings for someone, huh?

I've always thought things happen for a reason, so while it may have been frustrating back then to have my feelings not acknowledged or reciprocated, I know it was because it wasn't time for us and with everything that is happening now, I'm glad it wasn't right back then. ;)

He's turned me into such a giddy schoolgirl. When I told one of my male friends about him, he scolded me, saying to use a normal voice like a big girl, that I wasn't in grade school.

His first name starts with an M too. Yup, we're M&M. (I haven't pointed this out to him, so if he's reading this, he's probably thinking, "oh gawd, what have I gotten myself into it??")

I can't help it. I'm so happy. He makes me so happy. :D

Dreams coming true

I am so happy...every thing I've always wanted in my life is actually within my reach and I feel truly alive.

It's not an easy road. A lot of things are going to change, but I've never been more sure about anything else in my life. I'm going for it, taking the chance.

When he first shared this song with me, I took it like I was the singer, telling him to hold on and we'd get through everything. But the truth is, it was meant to allay my fears and doubt.

Don't pay no mind to the demons
They fill you with fear
The trouble it might drag you down
If you get lost, you can always be found

Just know you’re not alone
Cause I’m going to make this place your home

It's kind of like our song...

Distance separates us, but that won't last long...I'm all in and willing to do whatever it takes. He fills me with so much happiness and warmth. Sometimes I have to pinch myself because I can't believe it's really happening, BUT IT IS! :D

He's my dork and makes me so happy.

My Sweet Gaby

She would have been 23 years old today.

I still can't believe she's gone. She's been gone for four years. I will never see her walk down the aisle or give birth.

I miss you Gaby.

You will always be with me. I will always love you, my sweet sweet Gaby.