False alarm

My period finally came and with it relief and disappointment. I'm in my head too much so of course I drove myself nuts thinking of everything, so much so that I couldn't sleep last night. I kept dissecting everything about the last two months; everything I felt and did, every ache and pain, everything I ate. Ack! I need to get out of my head.

All is well for now. I'm relieved because I'm not in a good place in my life to be a mom right now, but of course, complete and utter disappointment because motherhood is the thing I want the most and doesn't it usually happen that the thing you want the most is the thing you don't get?