Little Moments

My favorite moments with F are after we've been intimate. That's when our true intimacy happens. Sometimes we lay there in silence, wrapped in each others arms. A time or two we've actually dozed off. Other times we're wrapped in each others arms as we talk about our day, work or whatever comes to mind. These are the times we bond; the times I feel how much I mean to him regardless of how much he tries to keep me at arms distance.

He's very good at keeping me at arms distance. But when we're physically together, his walls come down and his feeling shine through. Too often I get the sense that he doesn't feel like he deserves love. He's very straightforward, blunt; and oftentimes he comes off as an asshole, but we've been together long enough now that I know his intentions. I see when I've gotten through and it scares him so he'll do something to keep a safe distance from me. I know when not to push. I just bask in our time together and let it happen naturally, on his terms. But most importantly, no matter what he does, I continue to love him and make sure he knows that not only does he deserve love, he's earned mine.