Saturday, April 25, 2009
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Needy is my middle name
I know the following statement is completely selfish, but I can't help it, it's just how I feel right now.
It's during times like these that I wish most I had a boyfriend, spouse, partner, lover, whatever; someone to lean on and go to for support. I know I've whined about this before, but it really is true. We all have such hectic lives, our own problems to contend with, so who are we going to turn to when we're in need, whether it's just a need to vent, a shoulder to cry on, or someone to bails us out? Obviously, a significant other. It makes the most sense.
So what happens when you don't have one? Who do you turn to?
I'm floundering right now. I trying to get myself out of this funk, but can't find the motivation.
It was my choice. I know that. I don't regret it. But in situations like these, you can't help second-guessing yourself, questioning everything, even believing some of the lies.
And everything is so complicated. It doesn't just affect me. So I have to watch what I say and to whom I say it. I can't truly vent; let out my frustrations and anguish.
It's amazing how some people don't really know you; like people you spend every day with at work for a year, and they don't know a thing about you. But then people you haven't seen or been in contact for years, a decade, know and understand you so well.
I was chatting online earlier with an old college friend. We've chatted a couple of times in the last few months because of Facebook; nothing deep or intense, just a hello here and there. I haven't seen him since college and we didn't really stay in touch. He asked me about work and for a moment I thought about lying, but ended up telling him the truth. I was able to talk to him about it and boy did it feel good.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not disregarding any conversation I've had with friends about this. They've been very needed and appreciated, but there's a connection to the situation with them; they're involved in this. He has absolutely no ties to anyone or anything involved. No judgment. A fresh perspective.
And when we chatted about what was happening and his current situation, there was such an understanding between us; it was great. And even though I kept writing that how could he be so sure about me, all he wrote was "stop." The years might have passed without us being in each others lives, but he had faith that the fundamentals of who I was back then and who I am now are the same.
I am me. No matter what, I am me. I will always be me.
Sometimes I just need someone to remind me of that fact. To be my champion. No matter what.
I have amazing friends, but they all have their own lives, their own priorities.
It's amazing how many days my cell phone goes without ringing and if it weren't for the text messages from Facebook, it probably wouldn't make a peep.
I find myself in a very needy place right now. A place without motivation. And I'm terrified, freaked out by the unknown and not sure of myself. I seek out comfort where I can, whether or not it's good for me. But, yet, I can't bring myself to really do anything.
I know I share blame in this as well. I keep myself well guarded, or at least I try. If I don't want to talk about it, I don't. I can put on the act of "I'm just taking a breather, nothing to worry about" and it's not like I'm in any hurry to get back into the grind of it all and possibly back into yet another workplace drama.
What happens when an independent person that normally does not need saving, finally needs saving? Who's there to help her pick up the pieces and put it all back together?
It's during times like these that I wish most I had a boyfriend, spouse, partner, lover, whatever; someone to lean on and go to for support. I know I've whined about this before, but it really is true. We all have such hectic lives, our own problems to contend with, so who are we going to turn to when we're in need, whether it's just a need to vent, a shoulder to cry on, or someone to bails us out? Obviously, a significant other. It makes the most sense.
So what happens when you don't have one? Who do you turn to?
I'm floundering right now. I trying to get myself out of this funk, but can't find the motivation.
It was my choice. I know that. I don't regret it. But in situations like these, you can't help second-guessing yourself, questioning everything, even believing some of the lies.
And everything is so complicated. It doesn't just affect me. So I have to watch what I say and to whom I say it. I can't truly vent; let out my frustrations and anguish.
It's amazing how some people don't really know you; like people you spend every day with at work for a year, and they don't know a thing about you. But then people you haven't seen or been in contact for years, a decade, know and understand you so well.
I was chatting online earlier with an old college friend. We've chatted a couple of times in the last few months because of Facebook; nothing deep or intense, just a hello here and there. I haven't seen him since college and we didn't really stay in touch. He asked me about work and for a moment I thought about lying, but ended up telling him the truth. I was able to talk to him about it and boy did it feel good.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not disregarding any conversation I've had with friends about this. They've been very needed and appreciated, but there's a connection to the situation with them; they're involved in this. He has absolutely no ties to anyone or anything involved. No judgment. A fresh perspective.
And when we chatted about what was happening and his current situation, there was such an understanding between us; it was great. And even though I kept writing that how could he be so sure about me, all he wrote was "stop." The years might have passed without us being in each others lives, but he had faith that the fundamentals of who I was back then and who I am now are the same.
I am me. No matter what, I am me. I will always be me.
Sometimes I just need someone to remind me of that fact. To be my champion. No matter what.
I have amazing friends, but they all have their own lives, their own priorities.
It's amazing how many days my cell phone goes without ringing and if it weren't for the text messages from Facebook, it probably wouldn't make a peep.
I find myself in a very needy place right now. A place without motivation. And I'm terrified, freaked out by the unknown and not sure of myself. I seek out comfort where I can, whether or not it's good for me. But, yet, I can't bring myself to really do anything.
I know I share blame in this as well. I keep myself well guarded, or at least I try. If I don't want to talk about it, I don't. I can put on the act of "I'm just taking a breather, nothing to worry about" and it's not like I'm in any hurry to get back into the grind of it all and possibly back into yet another workplace drama.
What happens when an independent person that normally does not need saving, finally needs saving? Who's there to help her pick up the pieces and put it all back together?
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Newborn nephew
My cousin gave birth (via c-section) to my newest nephew.
Born at 11:37am on Tues, April 14, 2009
7 lbs 11 oz
19 in
Born at 11:37am on Tues, April 14, 2009
7 lbs 11 oz
19 in
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
The bottom
It's funny how quickly one's world comes crashing down. One minute you are the shit, and the next, well, you're just shit.
I never had illusions of grandeur. I always knew I was replaceable.
Sometimes it really is hard to face that truth, though.
The world is full of shitty people. And I guess my fault lies in not accepting that truth; in not shrugging my shoulders and saying, "oh well, that's life," but in expecting and demanding better.
I think, though, I have enough confidence in myself and good people around me that have been truly AMAZING through all of this. Life if crappy right now, but, not to sound so cliche, I will survive. I will get through this and be the better for it.
Sometimes it takes things like this to happen to really appreciate what you do have and be thankful for the support and love of so many.
I'm lucky. I'm still young enough, early enough in my career to be able to walk away from a bad situation and find my own way.
I'm scared. I'm freaking out about what to do next, but if I had to do it all over again, I wouldn't change a thing. I would have quit my job last year and taken this job, and I would have walked away from this job again if circumstances had been the same.
OK, maybe I would have changed a couple of things: I wouldn't have second-guessed myself, I would have followed my instincts and never allowed myself to be forced to hire someone I knew wasn't going to work out. I wouldn't have let them play with my head the way they did and would have had more faith in my own abilities.
I am great at what I do for one simple reason - it's all I've ever done. I started my career at the very bottom and worked my way up, so I know and understand this side of the business so very well. Others may not think I was ready or mature enough for this position, but to hell with them. Look at everything I accomplished. I did a GREAT job! No matter what anyone says, I built that and I will be proud of it for the rest of my life, even though I didn't get to finish it, but the framework is all me.
So, things are bad right now, but they'll get better. I have faith. And that's all I really need because I'm still me and no one can take that from me. I'm not afraid to start at the bottom again. And I won't have to step on anyone to get back to the top.
I am a force to be reckoned with. I will not be defeated.
Hear me ROAR, I AM WOMAN!
I never had illusions of grandeur. I always knew I was replaceable.
Sometimes it really is hard to face that truth, though.
The world is full of shitty people. And I guess my fault lies in not accepting that truth; in not shrugging my shoulders and saying, "oh well, that's life," but in expecting and demanding better.
I think, though, I have enough confidence in myself and good people around me that have been truly AMAZING through all of this. Life if crappy right now, but, not to sound so cliche, I will survive. I will get through this and be the better for it.
Sometimes it takes things like this to happen to really appreciate what you do have and be thankful for the support and love of so many.
I'm lucky. I'm still young enough, early enough in my career to be able to walk away from a bad situation and find my own way.
I'm scared. I'm freaking out about what to do next, but if I had to do it all over again, I wouldn't change a thing. I would have quit my job last year and taken this job, and I would have walked away from this job again if circumstances had been the same.
OK, maybe I would have changed a couple of things: I wouldn't have second-guessed myself, I would have followed my instincts and never allowed myself to be forced to hire someone I knew wasn't going to work out. I wouldn't have let them play with my head the way they did and would have had more faith in my own abilities.
I am great at what I do for one simple reason - it's all I've ever done. I started my career at the very bottom and worked my way up, so I know and understand this side of the business so very well. Others may not think I was ready or mature enough for this position, but to hell with them. Look at everything I accomplished. I did a GREAT job! No matter what anyone says, I built that and I will be proud of it for the rest of my life, even though I didn't get to finish it, but the framework is all me.
So, things are bad right now, but they'll get better. I have faith. And that's all I really need because I'm still me and no one can take that from me. I'm not afraid to start at the bottom again. And I won't have to step on anyone to get back to the top.
I am a force to be reckoned with. I will not be defeated.
Hear me ROAR, I AM WOMAN!
Monday, April 13, 2009
I am German
Took a quiz on Facebook.
THE INNER NATIONALITY QUIZ: WHAT ARE YOU REALLY?
You are German.
You are precise yet romantic, efficient yet dreamy, friendly yet somewhat suspicious of others. You rarely smile, but when you do it's very meaningful. You like it best when there is a group consensus, and yet you are easily annoyed by the slowness and/or stupidity of others. Sometimes you think that if only you could live on an island or move to some wonderful place far away where things are different, everything would be better, and if you can't realize this dream you often lose yourself in books/vacations/recipes/sports -- anything for an escape! All in all, however, you make your peace with life, and have many old friends.
My friend Drew took the quiz and he is American.
THE INNER NATIONALITY QUIZ: WHAT ARE YOU REALLY?
You are German.
You are precise yet romantic, efficient yet dreamy, friendly yet somewhat suspicious of others. You rarely smile, but when you do it's very meaningful. You like it best when there is a group consensus, and yet you are easily annoyed by the slowness and/or stupidity of others. Sometimes you think that if only you could live on an island or move to some wonderful place far away where things are different, everything would be better, and if you can't realize this dream you often lose yourself in books/vacations/recipes/sports -- anything for an escape! All in all, however, you make your peace with life, and have many old friends.
My friend Drew took the quiz and he is American.
You are highly competitive and highly independent, although you also have an easygoing and spontaneous nature. In order to hide and mitigate just how badly you want to win, you have developed a thick veneer of friendliness -- in order to lull your opponents into a false sense of security, yes, but also in order to actually tame your own natural blood lust, and most of the time it even works. Because you are so mobile and ever-changing, your friendships are always in flux, and the people who are your oldest friends may or may not accompany you all the way through life. Probably not. .
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Trust no one
After all these years, I finally have the answer to what is wrong with me and there are so many things:
And all it took was discovering e-mails and chats between a co-worker and one of my system developers to finally answer the question - what is wrong with me.
Thank you for putting me in my place and finally helping me understand. Thank you so much.
P.S. - Yes, I'm quitting my job. I already packed up all my personal belongings and the boxes are sitting in a friend's car.
- I'm young.
- I'm immature.
- I'm emotional.
- I'm Latina.
- I'm a female.
- I fall into the species of women known as "Roseanne," as opposed to Brooke Shields, which means I am extremely repulsive.
And all it took was discovering e-mails and chats between a co-worker and one of my system developers to finally answer the question - what is wrong with me.
Thank you for putting me in my place and finally helping me understand. Thank you so much.
P.S. - Yes, I'm quitting my job. I already packed up all my personal belongings and the boxes are sitting in a friend's car.
Monday, March 30, 2009
Baby Shower - 3.14.09
I think this was the best baby shower I've helped plan. OK, so this one was my baby, but still. I was in charge of the invitations, cake, centerpiece for the gift table, baby shower favors, games and prizes. I chose games we hadn't played before and bought prizes that people could actually choose. :) I also bought coloring books and crayons to keep the little girls and boys entertained. Turned out all they really needed to have fun were the balloons I was going to use for the Tinkle in the Pot game.
My Godmother took care of the food (main meal and snacks) and drinks. My cousin took care of the decorations. The theme of the shower was meant to be Precious Moments, but only the invitations had that design.
I spent a fortune on the favors. My cousin went with me to pick them up and said if she had gone with me when I ordered them, she wouldn't have let me spend so much. The sales clerk told her she'd told me I was spending a lot. (Whose side is the sales clerk supposed to be on anyway?)
Actually, I guess I spent a fortune on the baby shower as a whole. I really went all out because I felt bad that no one threw her a baby shower for the twins. I know it wasn't my responsibility, but I wanted her to know she had the family's support, no matter what messed up things she did in the past. Besides, the babies aren't to blame for her missteps. So this baby shower was not only for this baby, but for the twins to.
Also, her mom is so stupid and such a pain in the ass. I know she's my aunt, but she's got some mixed up views. When my Godmother and I asked her about throwing this baby shower for her daughter, she told us not to go to any trouble and that she always saw it as the baby's father's family responsibility to do this.
Why would it fall on my cousin's mother-in-law to throw a baby shower for her own daughter?!?!?
Yes, his family should probably throw one too for their side, but how can she not think of celebrating her own daughter's impending birth. She has three daughters, so is she never going to celebrate their pregnancies. Geez, she's nuts.
So, my goal for this baby shower was also to show my aunt how it's done; how she's supposed to celebrate her daughters.
We asked my aunt if she wanted to help with the baby shower and she never agreed. So we did everything, but the day of, she arrived and tried to change things around and acted all high and mighty, but I put my foot down and put things back the way we had arranged everything. She even brought a game and prize for the baby shower, which seriously annoyed me. If she had consulted with us, it wouldn't have been a problem.
(Seriously stupid woman.)
At the end of the evening, my pregnant cousin was talking to my co-hostess cousin and said she never thought her mom would do this for her. My cousin set her straight by handing her an invite for the baby shower, which clearly stated who the hostesses were.
I still have a ton of favors left, but that's OK.
Everyone was extremely pleased with the baby shower. I heard that my aunt and my cousin's Godmother couldn't stop talking about the shower the next day; how much fun they had with the games, and everything I did for it.
My co-hostess cousin's mother-in-law (I can't stand that woman and I did not invite her. Her son did...ugh!) couldn't stop praising me. She really gets on my nerves. She's always thanking me for the baby shower I planned for my cousin and whenever I buy my nieces anything. It's like, "alright lady, can you crawl out of my ass already?!?!"
Anyway, I digress...
At the end of the night, I was tired and had a HUGE headache. Mom says I stress out too much over these things, I internalize it and my blood pressure rises. I fell fast asleep when I got home. Boy, was I relieved it was over. I planned two baby showers in a year. I think I need a break. :)
The Happy Family
The Hostesses
The Cake...er, Cupcakes
The Decorations
Baby Shower Favors
SURPRISE!!
Let's Eat!
How many M&M's in the baby bottle?
Answer? 1400. My niece Celest came the closest; within 800.
Game 1: Draw a Baby - Each participant is given a paper plate and a crayon. They are asked to place the plate on their heads, like a hat. They are given 1 minute to draw a baby on the plate while holding it over their heads. They then write their names on the other side. Mother-to-be chooses the best drawing as the baby shower winner.
Winners of Draw a Baby game - my aunt Linda (cousin's mom) and my cousin Bertha
Game #2: Having a Baby - Baby shower attendees are split into two teams. Each person is given a balloon. When you shout "Go" Each team has their first member blow up their balloon and stuff it up their top. When they finish placing it in their top, the second and then third team member does the same until the entire team is pregnant. When the last person in the line becomes pregnant, the first person needs to give birth and pop the balloon until the whole team has popped their balloons. The quickest team "giving birth" wins.
Winning Team of Having a Baby - my cousin's Godmother, my aunt Linda, my cousin's Bertha & Amalia, my niece Jenny
Game #3 - Baby Shower Food Race - Get all baby shower guests that want to participate in pairs of 2. Each pair gets a baby food jar, baby bottle with apple juice(or some other type of drinkable liquid - I used soda, the carbonation makes it harder to drink quickly) and a blindfold. The one person in the pair that has the jar of baby food will get blindfolded and will have to feed their partner while both sitting across from each other in chairs. When they are done with the whole jar of baby food, the person blindfolded has to drink what is in the bottle to win. The first team to do this the quickest while racing wins!
Winners of Baby Shower Food Race - my cousin's Amalia & Bertha
Game #4: Tinkle in the Pot - Every pregnant woman is always running to the bathroom. Group participants in teams of 4 or 5. Be sure to have two quarters for each person and jars/dishes as there are teams. Place a tape strip at a starting line on the floor. Have teams line up behind the starting line. Place jars across the room from each team. Baby shower contestants must place the quarter between their knees and waddle to the jar. They must drop the quarter in the jar (tinkle in the pot). NO HANDS ALLOWED!! If the person misses or drops the quarter along the way, they must start over. Each teammate has to go twice. The first team to make all of their potty runs will win prizes.
Winning Team of Tinkle in the Pot - cousin's friend, cousins Melisa & Michelle, my Godmother, my aunt Linda
There are, of course, a ton of pics of her opening presents, but I didn't really want to go through those and post them. As it is, I only posted a couple for each of the games.
I know have to put together an album for her. I hope I can find a Precious Moments photo album. Hm, should I do an album or scrapbook. You're right, a scrapbook is more work. Photo album it is. :)
My Godmother took care of the food (main meal and snacks) and drinks. My cousin took care of the decorations. The theme of the shower was meant to be Precious Moments, but only the invitations had that design.
I spent a fortune on the favors. My cousin went with me to pick them up and said if she had gone with me when I ordered them, she wouldn't have let me spend so much. The sales clerk told her she'd told me I was spending a lot. (Whose side is the sales clerk supposed to be on anyway?)
Actually, I guess I spent a fortune on the baby shower as a whole. I really went all out because I felt bad that no one threw her a baby shower for the twins. I know it wasn't my responsibility, but I wanted her to know she had the family's support, no matter what messed up things she did in the past. Besides, the babies aren't to blame for her missteps. So this baby shower was not only for this baby, but for the twins to.
Also, her mom is so stupid and such a pain in the ass. I know she's my aunt, but she's got some mixed up views. When my Godmother and I asked her about throwing this baby shower for her daughter, she told us not to go to any trouble and that she always saw it as the baby's father's family responsibility to do this.
Why would it fall on my cousin's mother-in-law to throw a baby shower for her own daughter?!?!?
Yes, his family should probably throw one too for their side, but how can she not think of celebrating her own daughter's impending birth. She has three daughters, so is she never going to celebrate their pregnancies. Geez, she's nuts.
So, my goal for this baby shower was also to show my aunt how it's done; how she's supposed to celebrate her daughters.
We asked my aunt if she wanted to help with the baby shower and she never agreed. So we did everything, but the day of, she arrived and tried to change things around and acted all high and mighty, but I put my foot down and put things back the way we had arranged everything. She even brought a game and prize for the baby shower, which seriously annoyed me. If she had consulted with us, it wouldn't have been a problem.
(Seriously stupid woman.)
At the end of the evening, my pregnant cousin was talking to my co-hostess cousin and said she never thought her mom would do this for her. My cousin set her straight by handing her an invite for the baby shower, which clearly stated who the hostesses were.
I still have a ton of favors left, but that's OK.
Everyone was extremely pleased with the baby shower. I heard that my aunt and my cousin's Godmother couldn't stop talking about the shower the next day; how much fun they had with the games, and everything I did for it.
My co-hostess cousin's mother-in-law (I can't stand that woman and I did not invite her. Her son did...ugh!) couldn't stop praising me. She really gets on my nerves. She's always thanking me for the baby shower I planned for my cousin and whenever I buy my nieces anything. It's like, "alright lady, can you crawl out of my ass already?!?!"
Anyway, I digress...
At the end of the night, I was tired and had a HUGE headache. Mom says I stress out too much over these things, I internalize it and my blood pressure rises. I fell fast asleep when I got home. Boy, was I relieved it was over. I planned two baby showers in a year. I think I need a break. :)
The Happy Family
The Hostesses
The Cake...er, Cupcakes
The Decorations
Baby Shower Favors
SURPRISE!!
Let's Eat!
How many M&M's in the baby bottle?
Answer? 1400. My niece Celest came the closest; within 800.
Game 1: Draw a Baby - Each participant is given a paper plate and a crayon. They are asked to place the plate on their heads, like a hat. They are given 1 minute to draw a baby on the plate while holding it over their heads. They then write their names on the other side. Mother-to-be chooses the best drawing as the baby shower winner.
Winners of Draw a Baby game - my aunt Linda (cousin's mom) and my cousin Bertha
Game #2: Having a Baby - Baby shower attendees are split into two teams. Each person is given a balloon. When you shout "Go" Each team has their first member blow up their balloon and stuff it up their top. When they finish placing it in their top, the second and then third team member does the same until the entire team is pregnant. When the last person in the line becomes pregnant, the first person needs to give birth and pop the balloon until the whole team has popped their balloons. The quickest team "giving birth" wins.
Winning Team of Having a Baby - my cousin's Godmother, my aunt Linda, my cousin's Bertha & Amalia, my niece Jenny
Game #3 - Baby Shower Food Race - Get all baby shower guests that want to participate in pairs of 2. Each pair gets a baby food jar, baby bottle with apple juice(or some other type of drinkable liquid - I used soda, the carbonation makes it harder to drink quickly) and a blindfold. The one person in the pair that has the jar of baby food will get blindfolded and will have to feed their partner while both sitting across from each other in chairs. When they are done with the whole jar of baby food, the person blindfolded has to drink what is in the bottle to win. The first team to do this the quickest while racing wins!
Winners of Baby Shower Food Race - my cousin's Amalia & Bertha
Game #4: Tinkle in the Pot - Every pregnant woman is always running to the bathroom. Group participants in teams of 4 or 5. Be sure to have two quarters for each person and jars/dishes as there are teams. Place a tape strip at a starting line on the floor. Have teams line up behind the starting line. Place jars across the room from each team. Baby shower contestants must place the quarter between their knees and waddle to the jar. They must drop the quarter in the jar (tinkle in the pot). NO HANDS ALLOWED!! If the person misses or drops the quarter along the way, they must start over. Each teammate has to go twice. The first team to make all of their potty runs will win prizes.
Winning Team of Tinkle in the Pot - cousin's friend, cousins Melisa & Michelle, my Godmother, my aunt Linda
There are, of course, a ton of pics of her opening presents, but I didn't really want to go through those and post them. As it is, I only posted a couple for each of the games.
I know have to put together an album for her. I hope I can find a Precious Moments photo album. Hm, should I do an album or scrapbook. You're right, a scrapbook is more work. Photo album it is. :)
Sunday, March 29, 2009
First 3 months of the year
I can't believe April is here already, then it'll be May and the summer...oh my!
I've been trying to spend as much time as I can with my girls before I get bogged down with work and disappear again. :(
I'm happy to report that even though I haven't been blogging much, I have been keeping busy outside of work, making extra sure to have a life, whether I was getting everything I needed together for my cousin's baby shower, going to the mall by myself or grabbing something to eat out in the valley or Hollywood.
- Jan 1 - Took my girls to see "Bedtime Stories" and then dinner at Applebees. It was a cute movie.
- Jan 2 - Went to my Godmother's house and hung out with the family.
- Jan 3 - Dinner at The Cheesecake Factory for my brother's birthday.
- Jan 9 - Took my girls to Barnes & Noble and then dinner at Fuddruckers.
- Jan 10 - Spent the day in Santa Monica with Uni. Lunch at Bubba Gump's and then saw "Bride Wars."
- Jan 16 - Hung out at my cousin's house with my girls.
- Jan 17 - Took my girls to former bosses' memorial fundraiser screening of "Hotel for Dogs" at The Bridge. It was better than I thought it would be and actually cried. Afterwards we went to lunch at Bubba Gump's in Santa Monica and we hung out at the pier.
- Jan 21 - Hung out at Westside Pavilion with Uni.
- Jan 23 - Saw "The Reader" at The Landmark with my sister.
- Jan 24 - Hung out at my cousin's house.
- Jan 25 - Had lunch on the westside with a friend visiting from MD. Hadn't seen him since he moved back to MD years ago. Uni's older brother died.
- Jan 30 - Saw "Gran Torino" with my sister.
- Jan 31 - Lunch at Islands with Tiny in Long Beach; shopping at Target and hanging out at her place watching movies with her boyfriend.
- Feb 6 - Saw "Valkyrie" with my sister at the Beverly Center.
- Feb 7 - Went to memorial service for Uni's brother in Westwood. Had dinner at Red Lobster with my girls and took them bowling.
- Feb 12 - Had dinner with Uni.
- Feb 14 - Got my hair done. Shopping and dinner with my cousin Monica. Hung out at my Godmother and cousin's houses.
- Feb 15 - Got my nails done and went to Target with my cousin Monica.
- Feb 18 - Dinner with Uni.
- Feb 20 - Hollywood! Saw "The International" at the Arclight. Sushi for dinner and then dessert at a cafe down the street. Great evening spent drinking and talking with a friend. Out in Hollywood so late I had to take a cab home. Great night!
- Feb 21 - Evening at Dave & Busters for Tiny's birthday.
- Feb 24 - Young Variety Annual Pool Tournament in Hollywood.
- Feb 25 - Dinner with Mari and then we saw "Taken."
- Feb 26 - Dinner with Uni. M & C-los got engaged!
- Feb 28 - Met an old high school friend for lunch at Toast. Took my girls to Build-A-Bear Workshop at Del Amo mall and then dinner at the Macaroni Grill.
- Mar 1 - Brunch at The Cheesecake Factory in Huntington Beach for Tiny's birthday and then we saw "Tyler Perry's Madea Goes to Jail."
- Mar 6 - Dinner at Applebees with my girls.
- Mar 7 - Dinner at my Godmother's house for her birthday.
- Mar 14 - Baby Shower at my Godmother's house for my cousin. Somehow we managed to pull it off. Spent a fortune, though. Long day. So tired.
- Mar 16 - Dinner with Mari and then we saw "The Last House on the Left."
- Mar 19 - Variety's Day at the Races in Santa Anita.
- Mar 20 - Barnes & Noble and The Corner Bakery with Uni.
- Mar 21 - I found him on Facebook. Took my girls to The Grove to see "Race to Witch Mountain."
- Mar 22 - Got my nails done.
- Mar 24 - Ran into N on the train and we had dinner at Lucky Boy in South Pasadena.
- Mar 25 - Dinner at Porto's with Uni. Met him for coffee to catch up.
Other tidbits of information:
- I gave up buying clothes and shoes for Lent. I really don't know how I've been able to do it. I keep getting catalogs, e-mails, coupons....you name it. Arg, so many cute shoes and outfits. {just two more weeks, just two more weeks}
- I submitted an application for the Young Variety Board. I'll find out in early April, after Showest I'm presuming.
- I've read 6 books so far this year, inspired by my cousin's interest in reading. (You can see which books in the left column.)
My April is already filling up: Gem & Jewelry Show in Santa Monica, New Kids on the Block concert at Hollywood Palladium, various movies for my girls and cousins, possible volunteer event, my niece's 7th birthday, jury duty, and of course, work, work, work.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
I found him
The long lost friend I've spent the last years searching for, hoping to one day see again and speak with; wanting to apologize for being such a crappy, selfish friend. He that I thought was the one; that my ultimate happiness lay in his hands.
After all this time, wanting so much to see him, I finally found him on Facebook. Finally, there was that face I only saw in the dreams that haunted me every few months. Finally, the answers of what went wrong are within my grasp.
My biggest fear was when I did find him, he'd be married with kids.
I never even thought of the possibility. It wasn't a possibility.
I finally found him....and...
he's gay.
After all this time, wanting so much to see him, I finally found him on Facebook. Finally, there was that face I only saw in the dreams that haunted me every few months. Finally, the answers of what went wrong are within my grasp.
My biggest fear was when I did find him, he'd be married with kids.
I never even thought of the possibility. It wasn't a possibility.
I finally found him....and...
he's gay.
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Cousin's baby shower
The invitations have gone out. I've gotten a few compliments on them. :) I did some in English, but the majority were in Spanish. I had to to do a search online for the correct Spanish wording since mine sucks.
I've ordered the favors and cake.
I've planned the games and today bought all the supplies. I'm doing new games this time; trying to be a little different.
The last thing I need to buy are the prizes. I want to be different with them as well. They've usually been ceramic baby frames and figurines. I want better prizes this year; prizes you can actually use. Of course, since I need at least 20, I have to be careful and buy small things.
My cousin is taking care of the decorations and my Godmother is in charge of the food. I'm staying out of it and letting my cousin do what she wants. I just told her to let me know if she needed me to order or pay for anything since she hasn't been working since Lily was born.
My cousin's in-laws are also throwing her a baby shower, which is fine, but they knew when mine was for weeks now (they're even coming), so why the freak did they choose to hold theirs the following day?!?! I know I should be grateful they didn't choose a day before mine or even the same day, and the fact that theirs is at a restaurant so it's a completely different type of baby shower, but still....I can't help be irritated and annoyed. This is where my competitive nature rears it's ugly face and now I have to make sure mine is waaaayyyy better. It definitely will be. ;)
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