Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Trust no one

After all these years, I finally have the answer to what is wrong with me and there are so many things:
  1. I'm young.
  2. I'm immature.
  3. I'm emotional.
  4. I'm Latina.
  5. I'm a female.
  6. I fall into the species of women known as "Roseanne," as opposed to Brooke Shields, which means I am extremely repulsive.

And all it took was discovering e-mails and chats between a co-worker and one of my system developers to finally answer the question - what is wrong with me.

Thank you for putting me in my place and finally helping me understand. Thank you so much.

P.S. - Yes, I'm quitting my job. I already packed up all my personal belongings and the boxes are sitting in a friend's car.

Monday, March 30, 2009

Baby Shower - 3.14.09

I think this was the best baby shower I've helped plan. OK, so this one was my baby, but still. I was in charge of the invitations, cake, centerpiece for the gift table, baby shower favors, games and prizes. I chose games we hadn't played before and bought prizes that people could actually choose. :) I also bought coloring books and crayons to keep the little girls and boys entertained. Turned out all they really needed to have fun were the balloons I was going to use for the Tinkle in the Pot game.

My Godmother took care of the food (main meal and snacks) and drinks. My cousin took care of the decorations. The theme of the shower was meant to be Precious Moments, but only the invitations had that design.



I spent a fortune on the favors. My cousin went with me to pick them up and said if she had gone with me when I ordered them, she wouldn't have let me spend so much. The sales clerk told her she'd told me I was spending a lot. (Whose side is the sales clerk supposed to be on anyway?)

Actually, I guess I spent a fortune on the baby shower as a whole. I really went all out because I felt bad that no one threw her a baby shower for the twins. I know it wasn't my responsibility, but I wanted her to know she had the family's support, no matter what messed up things she did in the past. Besides, the babies aren't to blame for her missteps. So this baby shower was not only for this baby, but for the twins to.

Also, her mom is so stupid and such a pain in the ass. I know she's my aunt, but she's got some mixed up views. When my Godmother and I asked her about throwing this baby shower for her daughter, she told us not to go to any trouble and that she always saw it as the baby's father's family responsibility to do this.

Why would it fall on my cousin's mother-in-law to throw a baby shower for her own daughter?!?!?

Yes, his family should probably throw one too for their side, but how can she not think of celebrating her own daughter's impending birth. She has three daughters, so is she never going to celebrate their pregnancies. Geez, she's nuts.

So, my goal for this baby shower was also to show my aunt how it's done; how she's supposed to celebrate her daughters.

We asked my aunt if she wanted to help with the baby shower and she never agreed. So we did everything, but the day of, she arrived and tried to change things around and acted all high and mighty, but I put my foot down and put things back the way we had arranged everything. She even brought a game and prize for the baby shower, which seriously annoyed me. If she had consulted with us, it wouldn't have been a problem.

(Seriously stupid woman.)

At the end of the evening, my pregnant cousin was talking to my co-hostess cousin and said she never thought her mom would do this for her. My cousin set her straight by handing her an invite for the baby shower, which clearly stated who the hostesses were.

I still have a ton of favors left, but that's OK.

Everyone was extremely pleased with the baby shower. I heard that my aunt and my cousin's Godmother couldn't stop talking about the shower the next day; how much fun they had with the games, and everything I did for it.

My co-hostess cousin's mother-in-law (I can't stand that woman and I did not invite her. Her son did...ugh!) couldn't stop praising me. She really gets on my nerves. She's always thanking me for the baby shower I planned for my cousin and whenever I buy my nieces anything. It's like, "alright lady, can you crawl out of my ass already?!?!"

Anyway, I digress...

At the end of the night, I was tired and had a HUGE headache. Mom says I stress out too much over these things, I internalize it and my blood pressure rises. I fell fast asleep when I got home. Boy, was I relieved it was over. I planned two baby showers in a year. I think I need a break. :)


The Happy Family



The Hostesses


The Cake...er, Cupcakes


The Decorations






Baby Shower Favors



SURPRISE!!



Let's Eat!


How many M&M's in the baby bottle?


Answer? 1400. My niece Celest came the closest; within 800.


Game 1: Draw a Baby
- Each participant is given a paper plate and a crayon. They are asked to place the plate on their heads, like a hat. They are given 1 minute to draw a baby on the plate while holding it over their heads. They then write their names on the other side. Mother-to-be chooses the best drawing as the baby shower winner.


Winners of Draw a Baby game - my aunt Linda (cousin's mom) and my cousin Bertha


Game #2: Having a Baby - Baby shower attendees are split into two teams. Each person is given a balloon. When you shout "Go" Each team has their first member blow up their balloon and stuff it up their top. When they finish placing it in their top, the second and then third team member does the same until the entire team is pregnant. When the last person in the line becomes pregnant, the first person needs to give birth and pop the balloon until the whole team has popped their balloons. The quickest team "giving birth" wins.




Winning Team of Having a Baby - my cousin's Godmother, my aunt Linda, my cousin's Bertha & Amalia, my niece Jenny


Game #3 - Baby Shower Food Race
- Get all baby shower guests that want to participate in pairs of 2. Each pair gets a baby food jar, baby bottle with apple juice(or some other type of drinkable liquid - I used soda, the carbonation makes it harder to drink quickly) and a blindfold. The one person in the pair that has the jar of baby food will get blindfolded and will have to feed their partner while both sitting across from each other in chairs. When they are done with the whole jar of baby food, the person blindfolded has to drink what is in the bottle to win. The first team to do this the quickest while racing wins!



Winners of Baby Shower Food Race - my cousin's Amalia & Bertha


Game #4: Tinkle in the Pot
- Every pregnant woman is always running to the bathroom. Group participants in teams of 4 or 5. Be sure to have two quarters for each person and jars/dishes as there are teams. Place a tape strip at a starting line on the floor. Have teams line up behind the starting line. Place jars across the room from each team. Baby shower contestants must place the quarter between their knees and waddle to the jar. They must drop the quarter in the jar (tinkle in the pot). NO HANDS ALLOWED!! If the person misses or drops the quarter along the way, they must start over. Each teammate has to go twice. The first team to make all of their potty runs will win prizes.



Winning Team of Tinkle in the Pot - cousin's friend, cousins Melisa & Michelle, my Godmother, my aunt Linda


There are, of course, a ton of pics of her opening presents, but I didn't really want to go through those and post them. As it is, I only posted a couple for each of the games.

I know have to put together an album for her. I hope I can find a Precious Moments photo album. Hm, should I do an album or scrapbook. You're right, a scrapbook is more work. Photo album it is. :)

Sunday, March 29, 2009

First 3 months of the year

I can't believe April is here already, then it'll be May and the summer...oh my!

I've been trying to spend as much time as I can with my girls before I get bogged down with work and disappear again. :(

I'm happy to report that even though I haven't been blogging much, I have been keeping busy outside of work, making extra sure to have a life, whether I was getting everything I needed together for my cousin's baby shower, going to the mall by myself or grabbing something to eat out in the valley or Hollywood.

  • Jan 1 - Took my girls to see "Bedtime Stories" and then dinner at Applebees. It was a cute movie.
  • Jan 2 - Went to my Godmother's house and hung out with the family.
  • Jan 3 - Dinner at The Cheesecake Factory for my brother's birthday.
  • Jan 9 - Took my girls to Barnes & Noble and then dinner at Fuddruckers.
  • Jan 10 - Spent the day in Santa Monica with Uni. Lunch at Bubba Gump's and then saw "Bride Wars."
  • Jan 16 - Hung out at my cousin's house with my girls.
  • Jan 17 - Took my girls to former bosses' memorial fundraiser screening of "Hotel for Dogs" at The Bridge. It was better than I thought it would be and actually cried. Afterwards we went to lunch at Bubba Gump's in Santa Monica and we hung out at the pier.
  • Jan 21 - Hung out at Westside Pavilion with Uni.
  • Jan 23 - Saw "The Reader" at The Landmark with my sister. 
  • Jan 24 - Hung out at my cousin's house.
  • Jan 25 - Had lunch on the westside with a friend visiting from MD. Hadn't seen him since he moved back to MD years ago. Uni's older brother died.
  • Jan 30 - Saw "Gran Torino" with my sister.
  • Jan 31 - Lunch at Islands with Tiny in Long Beach; shopping at Target and hanging out at her place watching movies with her boyfriend.
  • Feb 6 - Saw "Valkyrie" with my sister at the Beverly Center.
  • Feb 7 - Went to memorial service for Uni's brother in Westwood. Had dinner at Red Lobster with my girls and took them bowling.
  • Feb 12 - Had dinner with Uni.
  • Feb 14 - Got my hair done. Shopping and dinner with my cousin Monica. Hung out at my Godmother and cousin's houses.
  • Feb 15 - Got my nails done and went to Target with my cousin Monica.
  • Feb 18 - Dinner with Uni.
  • Feb 20 - Hollywood! Saw "The International" at the Arclight. Sushi for dinner and then dessert at a cafe down the street. Great evening spent drinking and talking with a friend. Out in Hollywood so late I had to take a cab home. Great night!
  • Feb 21 - Evening at Dave & Busters for Tiny's birthday.
  • Feb 24 - Young Variety Annual Pool Tournament in Hollywood.
  • Feb 25 - Dinner with Mari and then we saw "Taken."
  • Feb 26 - Dinner with Uni. M & C-los got engaged!
  • Feb 28 - Met an old high school friend for lunch at Toast. Took my girls to Build-A-Bear Workshop at Del Amo mall and then dinner at the Macaroni Grill.
  • Mar 1 - Brunch at The Cheesecake Factory in Huntington Beach for Tiny's birthday and then we saw "Tyler Perry's Madea Goes to Jail."
  • Mar 6 - Dinner at Applebees with my girls.
  • Mar 7 - Dinner at my Godmother's house for her birthday.
  • Mar 14 - Baby Shower at my Godmother's house for my cousin. Somehow we managed to pull it off. Spent a fortune, though. Long day. So tired. 
  • Mar 16 - Dinner with Mari and then we saw "The Last House on the Left."
  • Mar 19 - Variety's Day at the Races in Santa Anita.
  • Mar 20 - Barnes & Noble and The Corner Bakery with Uni.
  • Mar 21 - I found him on Facebook. Took my girls to The Grove to see "Race to Witch Mountain."
  • Mar 22 - Got my nails done.
  • Mar 24 - Ran into N on the train and we had dinner at Lucky Boy in South Pasadena.
  • Mar 25 - Dinner at Porto's with Uni. Met him for coffee to catch up.

Other tidbits of information:
  • I gave up buying clothes and shoes for Lent. I really don't know how I've been able to do it. I keep getting catalogs, e-mails, coupons....you name it. Arg, so many cute shoes and outfits. {just two more weeks, just two more weeks}
  • I submitted an application for the Young Variety Board. I'll find out in early April, after Showest I'm presuming. 
  • I've read 6 books so far this year, inspired by my cousin's interest in reading. (You can see which books in the left column.)

My April is already filling up: Gem & Jewelry Show in Santa Monica, New Kids on the Block concert at Hollywood Palladium, various movies for my girls and cousins, possible volunteer event, my niece's 7th birthday, jury duty, and of course, work, work, work.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

I found him

The long lost friend I've spent the last years searching for, hoping to one day see again and speak with; wanting to apologize for being such a crappy, selfish friend. He that I thought was the one; that my ultimate happiness lay in his hands.

After all this time, wanting so much to see him, I finally found him on Facebook. Finally, there was that face I only saw in the dreams that haunted me every few months. Finally, the answers of what went wrong are within my grasp.

My biggest fear was when I did find him, he'd be married with kids.

I never even thought of the possibility. It wasn't a possibility.

I finally found him....and...

he's gay.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Cousin's baby shower

The invitations have gone out. I've gotten a few compliments on them. :) I did some in English, but the majority were in Spanish. I had to to do a search online for the correct Spanish wording since mine sucks.

I've ordered the favors and cake.

I've planned the games and today bought all the supplies. I'm doing new games this time; trying to be a little different. 

The last thing I need to buy are the prizes. I want to be different with them as well. They've usually been ceramic baby frames and figurines. I want better prizes this year; prizes you can actually use. Of course, since I need at least 20, I have to be careful and buy small things.

My cousin is taking care of the decorations and my Godmother is in charge of the food. I'm staying out of it and letting my cousin do what she wants. I just told her to let me know if she needed me to order or pay for anything since she hasn't been working since Lily was born.

My cousin's in-laws are also throwing her a baby shower, which is fine, but they knew when mine was for weeks now (they're even coming), so why the freak did they choose to hold theirs the following day?!?!  I know I should be grateful they didn't choose a day before mine or even the same day, and the fact that theirs is at a restaurant so it's a completely different type of baby shower, but still....I can't help be irritated and annoyed. This is where my competitive nature rears it's ugly face and now I have to make sure mine is waaaayyyy better. It definitely will be. ;)

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Feelin' pretty good

I was in a client meeting today and our system developers were vindicated.

As one of them put it, my thinking, my vision was also validated.

I'm feeling re-energized and enthusiastic for this project again.

Yay!!

Monday, March 2, 2009

Random tidbits

  • Planning a baby shower for my cousin (the one that used to live with us). It's in 2 weeks and I have so much to do. I'm the primary on this one, which means most of the cost is on my shoulders, but it also means I get to do things my way. ;)
  • Baby shower is the same day as M & C-los' engagement party. I tried to get them to push it back a week, but they refused (how rude!), so I can't fly up for it. :(
  • I've gone out every weekend of 2009 - woo-hoo!!!
  • Need to get my nails filled, trimmed, and a new design. It's a little hard to type with them right now.
  • I'm such a lazy ass. I do nothing when I get home. Of course, I've been getting home rather late lately.
  • My cousin has inspired me to read more as she's kicking butt with her New Year's resolution to read for fun. I have read 3 books this year and am on my 4th. Hopefully, I can get through my "to read" shelf before I buy more books.
  • I need a man. I don't really want a relationship right now. I'm waaaayyyy too busy to deal with that, but I do need a man for the other benefits of being in a relationship. Fine, you want me to spell it out for you?!?!?! It's been too friggin' long since the last time I was intimately involved with someone and I NEED TO GET ME SOME!
  • Thinking about buying a MAC even though I was able to get my laptop up and running again.
  • Gave up buying new shoes and clothes for Lent. I know, right! I'm already sweating the BOGO sales at Payless....

Thursday, February 26, 2009

They're engaged!!!

M and C-los are engaged!!!

He popped the question while they were at dinner celebrating their 6 year anniversary.

Let's not forget the role I played in this y'all...I set them up. woo-hoo!!

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

They've robbed me of my confidence

I know I suck. I haven't been posting like I should, like I have in the past.

Sorry.

If I tell you work has been crazy, stressful, pressure-filled, insane and every other bad adjective you can think of - would that make it all better?

No? Oh well, too bad. That's exactly why I haven't been blogging. I get home too late, or have work to do, or my brain is just mush I can't do anything that requires any thought process whatsoever. :(

Work has not been good. I am exhausted. I'm on the verge of cracking. I'm on the edge.

I need a vacation.

But that's not going to happen any time soon. :(

I was sitting on the bus this morning, on my way to work, when the following words popped into my head: They've robbed me of my confidence.

I guess subconsciously I've been thinking about my conversation with one of the development guys on Friday. He started asking me about confidence and then appeared to switch topics. In the end, it all came back to confidence.

He said to me, "I can see it in your eyes...but you don't speak up, you don't say you disagree."

All this nonsense that's going on, but I'm not supposed to know what's going on, has me second-guessing myself.

What the hell?!?!


I may not have confidence that someone will love me, will want to be with me.

But my work is the one thing I've always been confident about. I am the best at what I do, hands down.

A little cocky? Too bad. It's the truth.

But I haven't been the best recently. I've always owned up to my mistakes. My mistake these last couple of months has been allowing them to undermine me, not speaking up and second guessing myself because of them.

It has to stop. Right now.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

25 things about me

This list is circulating on Facebook. You're supposed to write 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about yourself. It took me forever to come up with the 25. I just didn't know what to write.


1. My mom says she had three only childs. There's 9 years between my older sister and I and 8 years between my little brother and I. Yes, I'm a middle child. Explains a lot, huh? My grandmother had 18 kids (twins twice! we're so scared), so my mom didn't want her kids to be on top of one another. We used to joke that she'd have another baby when my brother was 7. So glad she didn't.

2. I have three older siblings from my dad's first marriage in Mexico that I've never met or had any contact with. I'd like to meet them some day.

3. In 10th grade, I performed "If I Could" by Regina Belle for the Sophomore Talent Show. There were six acts and in the yearbook, I was the only one not pictured. I totally believe it was because of my competitive feud with the organizer of the event that was also on the yearbook staff. (I wouldn't say it was a feud. I never really knew why she didn't like me, but I carried on a mutual dislike for her because of it.)

4. My favorite music artist is Tori Amos. I began listening to her music because my crush was really into her. Little did I know I would relate to her music so much. I drove my roommate crazy listening to Tori, and yet, I still haven't seen her in concert. :(

5. I still have all my Barbie's from my childhood. I don't play with them. They're in a box on top of my closet. Someday my daughter will play with them.

6. I knew when I was 14 years old that I wanted to be a mom. As a result, I've been collecting books for my future kids since I was a teenager. I'm hoping to instill a love of reading in them. In the meantime, I'm also buying books for my nieces and Goddaugher and hope they will love to read as much as I do, even though I've been so lazy recently.

7. I live in flip flops. I hate wearing shoes, but I love shoes so much. I'm always shoe-shopping. I'll buy 2 or 3 pairs at a time. I have so many pairs of shoes; I refuse to count them though. I probably have a pair of flip flops for every regular pair of shoes I own.

8. I also LOVE handbags. For a few years, every single Christmas gift I received from my family were handbags. On Christmas Eve, I'd open up at least 5 gifts, all handbags. It became a running joke. They've thankfully stopped now. My handbag tastes have gotten too high for them, I think.

9. I'm a perfectionist workaholic. Completely anal about my data. I pride myself in my work and think it speaks for itself. I'm demanding of all that work for me, but I never demand more than I'm willing to do; since I'm willing to do all it takes, it ends up being quite a lot.

10. The first concert I ever went to was U2's Popmart Tour, June 21, 1997 at the LA Coliseum. I had to learn the names of all their albums and recite them in order on command for my sister. Sometimes she'd make me recite them backwards. I got to see them again October 29, 1997 in Minneapolis at the Metrodome.

11. I want to be a total soccer mom; completely devoted to her kids and husband.

12. Pink is not my favorite color. It's actually purple. I just happen to have a lot of pink clothes because the color looks good against my dark skin. I'm extremely picky about clothes in purple and tend not to buy many pieces, which is why I don't wear purple very much. It's still my favorite color. I can't help it if I look good in pink.

13. Don't ask me about the best Mexican restaurants. I don't pay attention when it comes to Mexican restaurants. Yes, I'll eat there, but I have the best Mexican restaurant in my kitchen and nothing beats it. And no, you can't come over, but if you're nice, I'll have mom make you some tamales at Christmas.

14. I was in love once as a teenager. You know, that sweet and innocent kind of love as only a teenager can experience. In my adult life I was almost in love once. Unfortunately, I set myself up for disappointment by setting my sights on guys that will never be able to give me what I want because I'm way beyond the "just having fun" stage; I'm ready to settle down. (Or so I think, who knows.)

15. My friend labeled me a serial crusher this week. I protest. It's been 3 months since I found out my last crush was unavailable and I hadn't been interested in anyone since then. And now that I'm crushing on someone 3 months later, I'm a serial crusher?!?!? I don't think so. Oh wait, I think I just got what she meant....nevermind.

16. My family calls me paparazzi. I take a million photos at family gatherings and have photos of my nieces from birth to now. My cousins used to joke that when the girls got older and wanted to see baby pictures, they'd send them to my house. I've always loved taking photos and I had to buy an external hard drive to store all my digital photos. My sister gave me an all-in-one printer/scanner/fax for Christmas, so I'm going through all my older photos now and scanning them.

17. I was born a month overdue. My mom had a cesarian to get me out because I was sitting up and choking on my umbilical cord. The doctors went in warning that only one of us would survive the cesarian. We both lived. When I was a baby, I stopped breathing. My mom frantically drove me to the hospital, cried and screamed for the doctors to help me even though they said there was nothing they could; I was dead. Then I started breathing again on my own. As a toddler, I had a very high fever in the hospital and again the doctors said there was nothing they could do to help me. I was put in a tub of ice to appease my mother and as she sat next to my motionless body, I patted her hand to let her know all would be ok. When I was four, after spending my entire life in and out of the hospital due to my asthma, I had a major attack that almost killed me. I remember waking up in a hospital bed days later surrounded by doctors. I never had an asthma attack after that and didn't need any medication for it. I've always felt there's a purpose to my life for surviving those four near-death experiences. I just wish I knew what it was.

18. I was named after my dad's favorite sister that died before I was born. Of course, that's only because my mom put her foot down, otherwise, my name would have been Ramona. :( I love my name, but people usually leave out the u, since I don't pronounce it in English. Or they spell my name as "Mora." Even worse. When I was 10, a boy spelled my name on a valentine card using 13 letters. :( I love the Spanish pronunciation, but unless you're a native Spanish speaker, I'm not going to let you pronounce it that way. I'm too picky about the u.

19. I always felt that if Enrique Iglesias met me, he'd know we were meant to be. Damn! that Anna Kournikova!

20. I get teased about my voice all the time. I sound like a little girl over the phone and former co-workers would speak with a lisp when imitating me because they said it sounded funnier.

21. I'm a crier. I cry during movies. I cry during tv shows. I cry reading books. I would appreciate it if my friends would stop making fun of me for being a sensitive and emotional person.

22. I just realized yesterday it's been almost 13 years since I met most of my college friends, 20 years since I've been friends with Ana (probably my longest friendship) and 25 years since I met Bertha in Mrs. Amyrauld's first grade class.

23. Most people that really know me laugh when I say I'm shy. They say I'm the farthest thing from it. It's because they've forgotten that when we first met, I never said a word. If I don't know someone very well, then I'm reserved and quiet. It takes some time for me to be really comfortable with people and open up.

24. With every year I get older and remain single, the more set in my ways I become. I'm growing increasingly selfish and cannot imagine how I'll be able to share my life with anyone. I love being independent and free to do what I want when I want. This worries me as I still want to have a family. I guess I should hurry up then. Too bad I'm completely committed to my career right now.

25. I don't have an ideal guy type. If you look back at everyone I've been interested, they possess very different traits. I like looking up at a tall guy, but I usually end up with the same height, or slightly shorter. I never thought I'd go for Latino guys, and that's exactly who I've been with. I'm strong-willed, stubborn as heck and moody. I'm the girl that doesn't need saving. So I need a guy that knows how to handle me. Knows when to let me lead, but knows when I need leading. I might not need to be saved, but I do need to feel taken care of and protected. I'm a feminist mixed in with 50's housewife. I want to be loved and cherished, but also need my own space. I fear losing myself in a relationship, and that's probably why I sabotage my personal life.