Ups and Downs

(Post 2 of 9)

Once I was no longer the board president and my commitments to Variety were scaled back, the issues in our relationship became bigger. He became more controlling. It turned out he always had an issue with my activities. He wanted me home. If I wanted to go out, I had to ask for permission. My new job was on the west side and my commute was longer. He didn't like that. The commute wasn't easy either. Sometimes it took me 3 hours to get home in rush hour traffic from the west side. Fortunately a few months after I started over there, the new train line opened and it cut my commute time in half.

He added new rules to our relationship. Not only did I have to ask for permission to go out, I had to let him know when I left the house, when I arrived at work, when I left work, when I got home, etc. etc.

Our fights were bigger. I was accused of cheating. I couldn't really go out with male friends, unless they were gay and even then, he'd be suspicious. I was accused of trying to trap him with a baby so I had to go on birth control. Any little thing set him off. And I justified everything. I told myself I just had to show him that I wasn't like his ex; I wouldn't cheat on him. I made promises to him, promises binding myself to him to prove I loved him. I told myself that if I did what he wanted and showed him how much I loved him, he would love me back.

Instead, I just lost more and more of myself.

When we were together, I felt so special. He forced me to overcome my physical insecurities. He didn't care if I was insecure about my body, he wanted it. It turned him on to see me naked. He took pleasure in my body. I could be free with him.

I'm not going to lie, sex with F was great. I loved going down on him and he knew how to fuck. I have always enjoyed sex and been very open about my sexuality; I am a sexual being and he & I were very sexually compatible. He didn't hesitate to flip me, spread me; I'd be on top, he'd be behind me. He could get rough, but I liked it. He didn't hesitate to fuck me if I was on my period. We had oops moments and it was OK. He "trained" me to his likes. I was there to please him and he, in turn, pleased me.

My favorite moments were post-sex, when we would lie together and just talk. He was so sweet and gentle in those moments. When we were together, the world outside did not exist; it was just the two of us.

They're Never Like That In The Beginning

(Post 1 of 9)

When we started seeing each other, he admitted he thought we would just be a casual summer fling. No matter how many times I told him I wasn't seeing anyone else and that I didn't want to see anyone else, he would always tell me to make sure a couple of days had passed after being with another guy before I'd be with him. After a few months and lots of reassurance, he was satisfied I wasn't seeing anyone else and he claimed me. He said I belonged to him and only him. He cemented his "ownership" of me with sexual activities I had never done before and was only allowed to do with him.

I thought I'd walked into our relationship with eyes wide open. I knew him. I knew what he was like. It had been ten years since the last time we saw each other, but I knew what I was walking into. Did I think we would have a serious relationship? Probably not. I had always wanted to have sex with him; he was the first man I was ever sexually attracted to, remember... In fact, the first time we saw each other after all those years, we had sex. I was on my period, but he didn't care. He fucked me, anyway. And that was one of the ways he claimed me. After fucking me while on my period, he said, "Now you're mine."

The signs were there, but I still thought he had changed. While we hadn't spoken in ten years, we had mutual friends so I knew what he was up to. I knew he had had a serious girlfriend and they were living together. And I knew she had him on lockdown. My friend and I would laugh and laugh about how the tables had turned. They were together for years and she ended up cheating on him.

When we started seeing each other, it had been a couple of years since that relationship ended. He was distrustful of women and wasn't looking to settle down into a relationship, which is why he would always say to give it a couple of days before I was with him after being with another guy. In the beginning, there was no exclusivity. Once he realized we were more than just a casual summer fling, he imposed rules.

Primarily, I was to be faithful and committed to him. I was to be submissive to him.

And yes, I agreed.

You have to understand what my life was like when our relationship began. I was three months into being the board president of YV and dealing with everything that came with it. Yes, I had already spent 4 years on the board and had held officer positions, but now, it really was on me; now I was really in charge. I had more commitments to Variety as well. I had a lot on my plate. My professional life was overwhelming. Monthly board meetings for YV and Variety; I had also taken on YV International. I worked closely with the organizations Variety/YV funded, lots of events, I worked every Variety event, traveled for Variety. All of my vacation time at work went to Variety. For the first two years of our relationship, my calendar was YV/Variety.

So being in charge in my professional life was overwhelming and it felt so good to give that up in my personal life. It brought balance to my life.

We were so happy in those first two years. It's not like we didn't fight. Issues arose, but we worked through them. He never said the words, but I felt loved. I was happy. He said no one had ever made him feel the way I did. We were happy. We even talked about moving in together. I had brought it up first and he wasn't into the idea. He liked having his own space. Months later, he brought it up and we agreed to wait until I returned from Paris, but when I returned, the idea went off the table.

Things had started to change. The dynamic was different now. I was no longer president of YV. As the months of my presidency had dwindled down, he had become more insistent. When was I going to stop attending so many events. After my presidency, I moved into the advisory board. I was tired and needed a break. My VP was the new board president and we had talked about my advisory role. I told him I would always be there for him. He could call or e-mail me anytime, and if he really needed me at an event, I would be there, but I wasn't going to attend the meetings or all the events. He understood. He was my VP so he knew everything I went through with Variety and the toll it took on me.

My professional life had also taken another hit when I was laid off from work. I took unemployment as a nice break. It's not like I actually took a break because I was still president of YV and volunteering more for Variety, this time in the office. Once my unemployment run out, I was put on the Variety payroll part-time. Fortunately, right before Paris, I started working full time in my current position. Starting that full time job led to a hugely diminished role with Variety.

To recap, the first two years of my relationship with F, my professional life was extremely busy and I was in charge of a lot of things so being submissive to him in my personal life brought a much needed balance to my life.

Stuck

It's been hard. The pandemic has been hard for a lot of people. I was fortunate, privileged that getting furloughed didn't impact me as much as others. I have a roof over my head that is paid off, my sister is a lawyer and bought the bulk of the groceries, and my unemployment/savings covered my monthly bills, including the house utilities, while still allowing me to splurge on crafty items. I was also able to buy bulk groceries to keep my mom stocked.

Mentally and physically it was a different story. If you know me well, then you know I have a difficult and complicated relationship with my family. The lockdown forced us to interact and speak to one another. Pre-lockdown, I pretty much just slept here. A typical weekday had me leaving for work before anyone else got up (before 6am and twice a week before 5am) and I wouldn't get home until 10 or 11 at night. During weekends, if I didn't have training/gym, I usually had crafty events to attend, so I still left the house early and came back late evening.

But with lockdown, I was here all day, every day. Even with not working, I didn't have an issue keeping myself busy. Growing up, my mom was strict with me, even firing nannies for suggesting she let me go outside and play with other kids on the block. So I learned early on how to entertain myself. My brother was working from home and he didn't do well with the lockdown. He drove us crazy rearranging the house. My sister finally put a stop to it when he was moving things around the kitchen that didn't make it easy for mom at all and it delayed dinner. He sulked for a couple of days, but then focused on other parts of the house. When he went in on my craft stuff, I had a meltdown and locked myself away in my room and I'm still here.

I went from working out 5-6 days a week to nothing. I tried at-home workouts, but then my brother took over the backyard. Plus, they didn't feel the same. My walks at the park didn't do anything for me either, so I started running. As hard as it was, it was exhilarating and almost comparable to my gym workouts. But my hips did not enjoy them and even with post-run stretching, I would still limp for the almost mile walk home and sitting down/standing was painful. I started applying multiple salon pas patches to my hips and lower back just to get through a run. After the meltdown with my brother and locking myself away, I stopped running and all physical activity.

I was supposed to go back to work last September, but it didn't happen. Then it was January, and nope, not yet. I'm still not back to work. Others are, but without a solid release schedule and box office grosses, they can't bring everyone back, so I am still stuck at home. As each day passes and there is no word, I fall deeper into despair. I wanted to go back to work and let my finances stabilize, build my savings back up a little before switching jobs, but it looks like I should start looking for a new job now. I am so disillusioned with my boss and company that I just don't think I can go back there. I honestly just wish they would let me go and make things easy. That way they would also have to pay out my accrued vacation and when COVID hit, I was at 139 hours. A nice chunk to add to my savings.

Once I was fully vaccinated, my plan was to start going to the gym. I have gone, but am struggling to keep going. I don't have the motivation to do anything. I want to, but I can't get myself up to do it. I'm stuck.

End of the Year Workout Recap

I intended to use my blog as a way to keep me accountable with my workouts and stuff, but every time I thought about posting, it just felt like I was writing the same thing over and over again and that's just boring. So as 2016 comes to an end, let me bring you up to speed on the last 3 months.

I'm still working with  my trainer and doing my workouts 3 days a week. When I was on my own, I usually just worked on the machines, but my trainer encouraged me to do more with the free weights like we do in our sessions. That meant venturing over to the other side of the gym where the large weights are in order to get the free weights and it was a bit intimidating at first. But I noticed that adding the free weights to my workouts made them different, better, so now it's just annoying when I can't find the weights I need. When I workout out at the gym by my house, it's even worse trying to locate them and I actually have to walk around that entire area cuz they really don't put anything back...ugh.

In addition to doing more with the free weights, I've also added more stretching exercises. I need them more for my arms and shoulders than my legs. I don't particularly like the gym by my house, but I do like my workouts there because I'm not rushed and can take my time and do extra stretching exercises. Overall, I like the atmosphere of my work gym (it doesn't feel like your stereotypical gym), but I think my workouts are better at my home gym. And that's really only because at my work gym I'm rushing there after work and I usually have just enough time to change before my training session. And then I'm rushing to catch the train home. Missing a train and waiting for the next one can mean having to wait 30 or more minutes for my last bus home. :(  So, it becomes very stressful and sometimes I've had to cut my time on the elliptical if I stayed at work later than usual. Whereas, when I do my workouts at my home gym, it's on a Saturday or a day off from work, so I go earlier in the day and have all the time in the world to stretch out and even catch my breath at the end of my workout because I'm not having to rush home.

So it's winter now and it gets darker earlier and the bf worries about me being on the train and bus late. That's why I'm always rushing to catch the train after my workout. He'd prefer me to be home by 9pm. I get it. Everyone always wonders how I can be out late at night on the train. Every one wonders about my safety and I've always brushed everyone else off. Bur the bf, well, that's another story. So because of this, I'm not taking Zumba on Tuesday's anymore. He started having an issue with it since class didn't end until 9pm and sometimes I missed the bus and had to take a Lyft home. So it was multiple issues: 1) getting home late, 2) if I came on the bus, walking home late in the dark, and/or 3) if I missed the bus and had to take a Lyft, my increased spending on Lyfts. So no more Zumba on Tuesdays. I really do miss the class. I felt like I was finally finding my groove. While there were still steps I couldn't do, I had found my own ways, I really liked that instructor too. The Zumba classes at my work gym are friggin' lame. I've watched the classes on MWF when I'm doing my workouts and they totally suck. On Tuesdays now, I just do 30 minutes of cardio on the treadmill. Yup, my trainer still bugs me about the treadmill, so I do it on Tuesdays and have been working on increasing the incline level.

I'm still doing Kickbox Cardio on Thursdays. It's killer and there were a couple of classes where I felt like I was going to die. Usually we do arms first and then legs, but one class she reversed it and oh man, she even knew that was a mistake. She kept saying that it raised our heart rates too high too quickly. It sure did. I thought my heart was going to jump out of my chest! She keeps telling us we're her toughest and best class. Maybe she says that to all her classes, but I think we're pretty badass. I keep making little goal lines for myself in class. First, it was getting through the first 45 minutes without taking a break. You can of course stop and get water if you need to, but she doesn't officially give us a break until 45 minutes in; it's 5 minutes of warm up and 40 minutes of cardio. After a few classes, I was able to do the full 45 without a break. My next goal involved the jumping jacks. There are 3 times when we do jumping jacks. The first time, you take four steps forward doing a move and then do the jumping jacks back the four steps. If you need to, you can do low impact jumping jacks, which is basically just taking side steps back. So at first, I would sometimes need to do the low impact jumping jacks. The second time we do jumping jacks, it's double-jumping jacks. At first I couldn't figure out how the whole double thing worked, but I figured it out. The third time is just straight jumping jacks when we go from legs back to arms.

So I stopped doing the low impact jumping jacks and then I figured out how to do the double jumping jacks and finally, I got through all 3 sets without stopping. But the first time I did all 3 sets of jumping jacks, it took its toll. By the time we got to the squats, I was done. So now my next goal is for my body to be able to do the 3 sets of jumping jacks without killing me for the rest of the class.

All in all, I love Kickbox Cardio and hate missing it. Our instructor is tough, but very supportive and encouraging.  :)

Last week was a little tough. I had Friday and Monday off for Christmas so I did my workouts those 2 days at my home gym. On Friday, I jumped on the elliptical and my knee was bothering me. I got through 5 minutes before I finally switched to the treadmill. Then on Monday, my knee still bothered me a bit, though not as much as Friday, so I did the treadmill again; I didn't want to risk anything. Tuesday was regular treadmill day, so Wednesday I was back on the elliptical. My knee wasn't bothering me, but my legs were heavy and tight. I had to stop several times and I barely made it to a mile in 15 minutes. I just couldn't go on and got off the elliptical. I didn't understand what was wrong. I missed Kickbox Cardio on Thursday because of work so yesterday (Friday), I went to my home gym thinking they had an afternoon Kickbox Cardio class, but I misread the class schedule and cancellations on the app. It was actually Zumba and it was cancelled. :(

I didn't have my workbook for my regular workout so I just jumped on the elliptical to do 30 minutes of cardio. I was worried because of Wednesday, but also I had walked almost 2 miles earlier taking out a big multi-layered smurf field and my feet were already hurting. I almost hadn't gone to the gym because of it. I tried to go at a slow pace, but I don't know if my legs were just too loose or if it was the machine, but I ended up going at a fast pace. So much so that I did a mile in 13 minutes and ended up doing 2 miles in 26 minutes - a record for me. Thanksgiving week I really pushed myself and ended up doing 2 miles in 27 minutes the day after Thanksgiving. I haven't tried for that pace since, though, aim for the 2 miles in the 30 minutes. So now, yesterday, I hit a new record of 2 miles in 26 minutes considering my feet hurt from earlier in the day. I did pause a couple of times to shake out my legs and still I hit it in 26 minutes and ended up doing 2.35 miles in the 30 minutes, My legs were jelly afterwards though. I was exhausted, and yet, I still walked a little out of my way home in order to do some fielding in Ingress. :)

Today, I went to the gym early to do my workout and once again I was going at a faster pace on the elliptical. I did the 2 miles in 27 minutes and ended my 3o minutes at 2.25 miles. I guess whatever was wrong earlier in the week is OK now.

So with all my workouts and Kickbox Cardio, there hadn't been a change on the scale since my doctor's appointment at the end of September. I know it's just a number and isn't the end all, but it was starting to get me down. I tried to focus on the fact that I wasn't gaining weight, but I couldn't figure out why I wasn't losing weight. My blood glucose was consistent. The bf and I have had some issues, but I've been working on not letting it stress me out. The bf said I wasn't going to lose weight even if I went to the gym if I kept eating crap food, but I don't. I treat myself once a week, but it's not junk food; it's actually protein that I need for my workouts. ;)

The number of the scale wasn't going down, but I could see the changes in my body. I'm in between sizes and have bought clothes a size smaller than usual. My clothes fit differently. I feel different. I've always said I'm oddly shaped. While I've always felt my legs were my best asset, I was cognizant of that fact that I didn't have hips. I was just a straight line when it came to my legs. So I've never felt very feminine. I wasn't curvy, I was just fat. But now, I can see hips. I have curves. My midsection is flatter. I'm still fat (deceptively fat, remember?), but it's OK. I feel more feminine.

The last couple of weeks, though, the scale has finally gone down another 6 pounds, so since the end of May, I have now lost 31 lbs. Still have a ways to go, but I know I'm never going to be super thin. It's just not me. I like being fuller.

What really matters is that I feel great after my workouts. I may be tired or sore, but if I don't workout, my body feels worse. Whenever I don't feel so good and think I'll just go home, I force myself to the gym and I feel a hundred times better. When I miss a workout, it affects me negatively for the rest of the week. 

Who would've thought I would ever feel that way about the gym?!?!

Progress Report

Last week I went in for blood work and today was my 3-month follow-up with my doctor. She was really happy with my progress. Like REALLY REALLY REALLY HAPPY. :)

My test results all came back great. My AC1C level especially came back low.

I had been a little worried because these last 2 weeks, since I've had this cold, my daily blood glucose readings have been higher than usual and I couldn't figure out why. I wasn't eating any differently than the previous weeks and I was still doing my workouts. They weren't incredibly high, though, so I waited to ask my doctor about it today. She said that illness and stress can raise my blood glucose and since I've had a cold these 2 weeks (plus these 2 weeks have also been emotionally stressful with the bf), that's probably why the readings have been higher. Since the blood test looks at the last 3 months, my current cold and stress were not of immediate concern. She did ask me specific questions about my symptoms though, in case they were side effects of one of my meds, which would then me problematic, but I didn't have those symptoms; it's just a cold working its way through my system.

She was also happy to learn I have a trainer. Since my May 27th visit, I have lost 24 lbs. You can't really tell, though. Well, I can. But as the master trainer said during my initial evaluation, I am deceptively fatter than I look. Which to me, supports my contention that I am indeed big-boned. ;)

So all in all, I'm doing really good keeping my diabetes under control and just need to continue what I'm doing. :) 

My doctor just cautioned me to not let my trainer push me too hard than I end up injuring myself. She said that happened to her and she ended up going to physical therapy for the injury she sustained with her trainer.

And I just need this cold to go away so my blood glucose levels can return to normal.

Kickbox Cardio

OMG! I DIED ON THURSDAY!!!

I don't know how I survived Kickbox Cardio on Thursday. It was an hour of non-stop movement. I think she gave us one short water break. Since there's not rhythm involved, I could follow along, but I would still something fall out of sync with the class because I'd fall into a slower pace. After class, I needed longer than usual to calm down and catch my breath, but I did enjoy the class. Plus, it's also good to get home a little earlier. :)

On Tuesday, I was back at Zumba. At first it felt like I hadn't been at Zumba in ages. There were a couple of new routines and even though I still have trouble with the steps (rhythm), the familiar routines were welcomed. I really did miss going to Zumba, well, my Tuesday Zumba class. I really like the instructor. And I didn't have that feeling of "shouldn't I be better at this." I just kept moving and enjoyed the music. :)

I pretty much feel like Zumba on Tuesday and Kickbox Cardio on Thursday is my go-to schedule. I'm still going to try working in the BodyWorks plus Abs class on Saturday (or some other class), so we'll see if I can make it this weekend.

Let's see if I die again tonight at Kickbox Cardio. ;)

Recap

I missed Zumba last Tuesday because of road construction and then yesterday I missed because I woke up with a cold and just wanted to go home, even though everything I read online said Zumba would help.

Like I mentioned in my last post, my trainer has stepped up my workouts and last Wednesday was leg day. I felt leg day through Friday. It's amazing how the simplest of exercises can have such a big impact. I seriously did not think I was going to get through 30 minutes on the elliptical after that workout. I thought I was going to have to quit after 15 or 20 mins; actually, I was hoping all the ellipticals would be taken and I could just do the treadmill, but NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, there was a free machine. darn! But guess what? I breezed through the 30 minutes! My legs felt light and limber and I didn't have to power through to get through the 30 minutes.

I guess all the endorphins wore off as I was going home because I surely felt it that night and the next day. I was sore. I hadn't been really sore since my first real workout a month ago. And then Zumba on Thursday just made it worse.

So, originally I had planned to go to Kickbox Cardio on Thursday to try it out, but Uni texted me saying it looked like she could make Zumba that night. After trying for weeks to get her to go, I couldn't just come out and say, "no, I'm going to Kickbox Cardio." But I did tell her to confirm by 5pm otherwise I was going to Kickbox Cardio. She confirmed.

I got to the gym closer to her place just after 6pm (class started at 7pm) and after changing, I just waited. And waited. I was going to be so mad if she stood me up. I guess she's not used to driving home from work that early (early to her) on Thursday so she didn't realize how much traffic there would be. She usually boasts about how quickly she gets home. So I get a text about the traffic and that she's going to cut it close. The instructor was late, so Uni made it right on time.

This instructor was different, not so much in style, but how she taught the class. She had different songs and routines so again, hard time following along. And the room has these posts in the middle, so it made it hard to see her. I kept looking at the girl in front of me to figure out the steps. As always, just keep moving. I was still feeling the effects of leg day so I was exhausted and drenched in sweat when class was over. I don't know how I got through it. 

On Friday, I was on my own for my workout and got through my 30 minutes on the elliptical. I'd been working on using the moving handles more and on Friday, I did the entire 30 minutes holding onto the moving handles and I didn't stop once. Hooray!

Again, I hoped to go to the Body Works Plus Abs class on Saturday, but it was a rough, emotionally taxing weekend and I didn't get any workouts in. I really need to though, because my Monday workouts are always the hardest after 2 days of limited physical activity so I'm going to try to get a workout in this weekend.

Since my trainer is stepping up my workouts, I am sore more often now. I guess that's good, right? :/

I have training tonight and tomorrow I will try the Kickbox Cardio class.

Slippery Slope

I've been bad. I admit it.

Seeing the positive effect regular exercise has had on my blood glucose has given me permission to eat certain foods I shouldn't be eating. It started innocently enough. They say you can't fully deprive yourself of something otherwise you end up bingeing and it's just worse.

Monday's are my early days at work and since I get here so early, the coffee is not made yet so I stop at the 7-Eleven for my morning coffee. I usually end up getting a second cup once the coffee is made at the office, so I started getting a pack of 2 cookies from 7-Eleven to eat with my 2nd cup. It quickly went from a Monday treat to an everyday thing. I'd drop by the 7-Eleven just to get the cookies. And then last week, I even got a container of cookies from Lucky and split them up into baggies to bring with me to work.

I wasn't getting Oreo's or those type of cookies, but soft baked cookies. I told myself they were healthier than getting the processed cookies.

But considering I was eating them everyday, not really.

Yes, I'm exercising regularly and it's having a positive effect, but I still have to watch what I eat. A treat every now and then is OK; special occasions.

Yesterday my trainer changed up my workout. I was all like, "what did I do? why are you mad at me???" LOL. He said I've been going long enough that it's time to switch things up; add more weight and stuff. And I was like, "but it's only been a month!" We clearly see things differently. He said he can see the improvement; he mentioned that I can go lower on my squats than when I started. I told him I didn't see it.

I think I don't see it because of those damn cookies! So today, I didn't get the cookies.

After my session, I was on the elliptical. (I had done 10 mins on it before my session and I actually did it at a faster clip.) I was going fairly slow after my session and was just focusing on getting it done. As I was on it, an older woman, maybe in her mid to late 60s, came up to me and told me that when she started working out 20 years ago, she weighed 260 lbs. She kept at it and five years later, she had lost 110 lbs. She told me I was doing great and not to give up.

NO MORE COOKIES.

Isn't It Supposed To Get Easier

I'm talking about Zumba.

On Tuesday, our instructor threw in a couple of new songs so of course I had difficulty following along. But what about the songs we've been doing for weeks now?? Shouldn't I be better?

On Thursday, the regular instructor was back and I realized I didn't remember her routines at all and her style is so different from our Tuesday instructor and all the subs we had. I had an ever harder time following along. I was so tired and achy at the end of class. I was totally feeling it the next day. 

All I kept thinking was, "isn't this supposed to get easier?" I know it's only been a month, but still.

I was back with my trainer on Wednesday and we did some new stuff. The half-hour always seems to go faster when I'm with the trainer than when I'm on my own. :/  I wonder why that is....  After my training session, all the elliptical machines were taken so I jumped on the treadmill. I tried going up to incline 7, but that was too much. My legs were still achy and we did quite a bit of leg work during my session, so I scaled back to incline level 6.

Legs were still achy a bit on Friday and luckily my trainer told me to work on upper body. Usually I have trouble filling the time because the machines are all taken, but since it was Friday, there weren't that many people. I finished up, went downstairs and jumped on an elliptical. "Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers" was on so I was watching that while on the elliptical. Remember I mentioned that I need to hold onto the handles right in front of me that don't move because if I hold onto the ones that do, it burns me out? Well this time I was able to hold onto the moving handles for a significant amount of time. I did 35 mins on the elliptical, mostly because I was waiting for Legolas' horse scene in the movie. Unlike last week, where Beyonce had to get me through the last 5 minutes to 30, I was able to do it more easily this time.

Of course, I'm still achy, which is why I probably didn't get up this morning in time to do the Body Works Plus Abs class at 11am. I don't know why I have such a hard time going to the gym on the weekends.

On Thursday, I arrived early for class so I watched the last 10-15 mins of the Kickbox Cardio class. On Thursday it's a different instructor and she has a different style than the Tuesday instructor. It actually looked like Kickbox Cardio.

I've been studying the class schedules, so I want to try doing the Body Works Plus Abs class and the Kickbox Cardio. Of course, with the Body Works Plus Abs class the challenge is getting myself to the gym on the weekend. I failed miserably today. This Thursday, I'm going to try the 5:45pm class at my work gym. The plus side to that is I'll get done quicker and get home a little earlier, hopefully. Tuesday Zumba will remain the same.

Last Week

On Tuesday, I had a podiatry appointment (diabetic, remember?) so I left work early. My appointment was at 4:30 and I arrived about 15 minutes early and I guess I was the last appointment so I went in right away and was actually done at 4:30. The podiatrist since my feet are strong and circulation is good, but I do have the beginnings of nerve damage so he put me on 2 more vitamins and reiterated that I need to get my blood glucose under control.

Since I was done so early, I got to the gym for Zumba hella early. I thought about taking a different class, but ended up jumping on the elliptical instead. I was able to increase my time to 20 minutes. WOO-HOO!!

I finished up on the elliptical 20 minutes before Zumba class, but boy was I tired when it came time for class. To make things worse, the AC was broken in the studio so it felt like a sauna, especially since another class had just let out. Our instructor tried to take it easy, but it was still miserable. So after doing 20 minutes on the elliptical, I didn't think I was going to make it through Zumba. When class ended, I was so tired.

Wednesday was my birthday and I had every intention of going to the gym for my workout. I was going to have a quiet birthday consisting of the gym and then detouring into DTLA to one of my favorite restaurants for a yummy birthday dessert. I was really looking forward to it.

Uni & Ro had flowers delivered to my office for my birthday. It was so very sweet and if that wasn't enough, they asked to take me to dinner. I got the go-ahead from F for dinner, so I agreed. Still intending to go to the gym beforehand. Uni mentioned needing to know because tickets had to be bought in advance, but I misread thinking a reservation needed to be made, but then thought maybe it was a dinner show or something when I re-read the ticket part. Well, my boss has a big meeting this week and I've been working on an annual report for said meeting and Wednesday was the only day we had time to go over it and figure out what was missing to wrap it up. I had hoped to leave the office at 5pm to get my workout in, but it was looking like it'd be closer to 6pm. Uni wouldn't tell me where we were going, except that we needed to be there by 8pm and it was going to take about 45 minutes to get there. We'd have to leave by 7pm and if I wasn't leaving the office until 6pm, it meant I wouldn't have enough time for my workout. Bummer.

Uni and Ro ended up surprising me with tickets to see "Newsies" at the Pantages Theatre. I've never been a fan of the movie, but am really grateful to Uni & Ro for wanting to make my birthday special. If you know me, then you know I'm not very keen on celebrating my birthday, so I really appreciate Uni & Ro thinking of me.

If you know LA, then you know traffic from the Westside to Hollywood is horrible. Uni and Ro just aren't used to that drive, so they didn't realize just how long it was going to take or how much traffic there would be. We made it just in time for the show, so no time for dinner. The show ended around 10:30pm and it was already past my bedtime so no time for dinner or anything.

Not going to the gym on Wednesday and getting home so late ended up throwing me completely off on Thursday. I woke up late, didn't have time to stop at the grocery store for my breakfast items, got to work later than usual and then I was just super crazed at work. I was completely out of whack and just felt off. It goes to show that I've gotten used to a routine and not adhering to it had an adverse affect on me.

I went to Zumba Thursday night and felt better. We had another sub, though, and she was way different than the others. Her routines were more aerobic, less dance. And her arms movements were not drill team-like like the Tuesday instructor. Her routines were more of a workout. She was tough. And I was exhausted at the end of class.

I'm always exhausted after Zumba, huh? ;)

On Friday we got out of work early since it was the day before a long weekend. I had plans with Mari for dinner. I didn't tell her I was getting out early because I wanted to make sure I got my workout in. It was so nice going to the gym at 3pm; it was so empty! I got through my training and then jumped on the elliptical. I was still tired from Zumba the night before so I could only do 15 mins on the elliptical and did the remaining 15 on the treadmill. I got done with my workout just in time. Marisela ended up getting over here early so she just picked me up from the gym.

We headed to Santa Monica and had dinner, walked around the promenade and watched "Suicide Squad."

It was another late night, but thankfully I didn't have to wake up early the next day. :)

I had hoped to go to the gym on Saturday or Sunday to make up for Wednesday's missed workout, but laziness got the better of me on Saturday. I woke up, had breakfast and then ended up taking a nap. Then I woke up, had lunch and asked F if he was coming over because I wanted to go to the gym and he told me to go to the gym, but ended up taking another nap. I've noticed that the last few Saturday's unless I have something planned, I've been taking a lot of naps. 

On Sunday, F came over so I got a different kind of workout. ;)

So I didn't make up my missed workout after all. :(  I don't know why I can't get myself to the gym over the weekend. I want to, but laziness wins out. :(

Yesterday was a holiday, so no work. I was not going to miss another workout, so I went to the gym by my house (where I go for Zumba) and did my workout. Doing my training there I realized I don't like that gym. It's perfectly fine for Zumba and maybe even swimming (though I haven't yet); and even working on the elliptical, but the machines are different and I had a harder time figuring out which ones I knew how to use. Plus, they're not well maintained. I ended up working more on my chest than legs, which was fine because I was going to try to get to 30 mins on the elliptical. I finished up my training and went upstairs to the elliptical. I got to 20 mins and I wasn't sure I'd make it to the 30, so I just kept telling myself to get to 25. At 24 1/2, Beyonce's "Formation" came on my iPod and it gave me the boost I needed. I picked up speed and got to the 30 mins. WOO-HOO!!

I weighed myself after my workout, out of curiosity again, and I just don't think I'm doing that right. I wish it was just a digital scale because yesterday it said I was down 15 pounds from my last doctor's appointment. (Remember, last week it said I was down 5 pounds, so an extra 10 pounds seems hard to believe in a week's time.)

I have Zumba tonight and on Wednesday I'm back with my trainer.